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O’Neal Manages to Impress Himself

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Times Staff Writer

He’s a player, a rapper, an actor ... and now Shaquille O’Neal has added a set of job skills to his burgeoning resume -- those of a general manager.

In his outspoken (well, isn’t he always?) interview with SLAM magazine, O’Neal bragged about his business acumen, among other things.

“The Heat being able to get me and keep Dwyane [Wade]?” he said. “That’s how good I am -- you know I have great general manager skills. I told them if I go somewhere, I’m going to a good team. I’m not a dummy.”

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Then there was the obligatory reference to former teammate Kobe Bryant and their overexamined relationship:

“It’s sort of like ancient karate movies,” O’Neal said. “Think about it -- the master trains his young disciple. Then when the young disciples get some [expletive], they think they can do better.”

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Trivia time: Who is the youngest player in Ryder Cup history?

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Fan-alytical: NASCAR drivers had this to say about their fans after the baseball melee in Oakland on Monday, when a Texas Ranger pitcher tossed a chair into the stands that injured a spectator: “I tend to think we’re fortunate because our fans are, by and large, not obnoxious or mean,” Derrike Cope said. “We’ve had some situations, like the bottles being thrown earlier this year, but other fans helped clean all of that up by pointing out the violators.”

Added Brandon Whitt: “The one thing you hear over and over, especially as one of the young drivers, is that the fans are the bosses. They pay the bills.... It’s not particularly old-fashioned to figure it’s pretty unwise to chuck a chair at your boss.”

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Work stoppage: Jeff Gordon, online columnist for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, answered a question with a question in regard to a NHL lockout.

Question: How relieved is St. Louis Blues defenseman Barret Jackman to get his contract resolved before the NHL lockout?

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Answer: Isn’t it great peace of mind to know exactly how much you aren’t getting paid by the team this season?

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Add hockey: Columnist Tom Powers of the St. Paul Pioneer Press assigned blame to the owners and the players in the NHL labor dispute: “The NHL owners, like owners in all professional sports, need legislation so they can be protected from themselves. Without a hard salary cap, they will continue to overpay. They are like the serial killer who writes on the wall: ‘Stop me before I kill again.’

” ... The players, meanwhile, subscribe to the ostrich theory that a problem doesn’t exist if you don’t acknowledge it. So they attempt to minimize the owners’ concerns -- and in the process, they played right into their hands.”

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Trivia answer: Sergio Garcia of Spain. He was 19 years, 8 months and 15 days when he made his Cup debut in 1999.

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And finally: Rocky Bernard of the Seattle Seahawks told the Seattle Times that the competition for best dancer among the team’s defensive linemen is down to two:

“I’d say it’s between me and Rashad Moore. I got the shake. He’s got his little butterfly dance that he likes to do.”

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Let’s hope neither scores a touchdown.

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