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Wanted: Golfers Who Have Gone Just a Little Off Their Tee

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Here’s a refreshing change. You know how serious grim-faced golfers can be about their, uh, sport? Well, Leslie Bruckner of Glendale found a golf club that actually requires you to be something of a clown (see accompanying).

Toothy image: I’m not going to make any lawyer jokes about the business sign that Allen Wattenbarger spotted (see photo). Let’s assume this practitioner works like a shark on behalf of her clients.

Chew on this: Regarding the discussion of hamburgers in this column, L.A. transplant Steve Koenig says you can find the real McCoy in Fortaleza, Brazil.

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“I ordered at a small place along the beach and received a patty of beef in a bun, with lettuce, tomato and -- to my surprise, though it was actually quite logical -- a side of ham. A true ham-burger.”

Hardly dessert: In Mexico, James McIntosh of Pacific Palisades happened upon La Casa De Los Pies (see photo). House of Pies, it wasn’t. House of Feet, rather.

Unintentional cemetery humor (cont.): No sooner did I mention the funeral home that included the word “expires” in a discount offer than did Dan Reznick recall this eerie tagline in a cemetery-plot-for-sale blurb: “Will sacrifice.”

Second item, at no charge: Switching to lost-animal ads, Reznick saw a “missing cat” flier that gave this not-very-helpful description:

“Answers to the sound of an electric can opener.”

Unintentional barber humor: Years ago, Dan Burnham of Bishop recalled, there was an L.A. haircutter whose last name was Marshall.

“However, the ‘H’ in his sign had either fallen off or been removed by some joker, leaving the message MARS ALL.”

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Full circle: Dan Dreiling’s first arrest after he became a patrol officer in 1982 was of a man named Charles Vaca for burglary.

Now, Dreiling is police chief of Palos Verdes Estates and, while his officers were busy last week, he responded to a prowler call himself.

And guess who he arrested. Vaca, now 51, who was crouched in a planter near a home whose window was broken.

“This guy looks better than I do,” Dreiling told the South Bay Daily Breeze. “He looks sensational.”

misceLAny: The other day a shot of a restaurant sign that misspelled one plate as “Harsh Brown” appeared here (see photo).

“A friend in L.A. received a letter from me the same day,” e-mailed a gentleman named Harsh J. Brown. “Quite a humorous coincidence. By the way, I have often been addressed as ‘Hash Brown’ by my friends.”

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Only in L.A., restoring balance in the world.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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