A real guy meets ‘The Real World’

YOU’VE SEEN THEM, haven’t you? The runner-up on “The Apprentice” standing behind you in the checkout line. Or the attractive brunette walking down Melrose who you think was on “America’s Next Top Model” ... or was it “American Idol”? These reality TV stars have created a new Southern California breed of pseudo-celebrity, five notches down from your established Hollywood luminary but a step up from your average 15-minutes-of-fame fluke.

I should know, I almost became one of them.

Recently, I was a finalist for the popular MTV reality show “The Real World.” I was competing for a slot that would pit me against past Real Worlders in a “Fear Factor”-like competition. I decided to audition when I realized that, at 24, I would soon be over the hill for the MTV show.

Reality stardom was no piece of cake. After waiting in a long line dominated by unemployed actors, I was asked about my views on cheating -- not like on tests but on other people. One young woman confessed that she had indeed cheated on her girlfriend numerous times. Others discussed monogamy like it was an outdated pair of jeans. To the delight of casting coordinators, I said I was a Christian, that I abhorred cheaters and resented that so many of my peers dabbled in it. That answer led to more paperwork and the next round.

The process became grueling. In most reality shows, fat seems a little too real for the targeted 18-to-24 demographic, so I hit the gym more. I went on more interviews and was struck by the sophistication of the questioning. Twice I was asked to show my abs, and three times I was asked how much alcohol I could consume; I also spent numerous hours talking about my dating life. What I knew about journalism seemed of far less consequence than what I knew about L.A.’s club scene.

I soon began to regret my “Real World” decision. My parents began to strongly object. The 100-page contract stipulated that producers could and would edit me however they wanted with no recourse. The final interview confirmed what my “role” would be on the show. After the interviewer’s narrow questions, it donned on me that I was being cast as the either the “angry black man” or the “overzealous Christian” -- maybe both.

In the end, though, I got the role of first alternate. No word on how many other “first alternates” received that same call.

The experience showed me a lot about the pros and cons of reality stardom. But I think I’ll stick to my day job -- that is if “Big Brother 7” doesn’t call me back.

Ryan Smith