Think it’s all about kicking back? Not.

A few surfing lessons does not a surfer make.

This became painfully apparent to me -- and dozens of other surfers -- a few months ago at the normally friendly shore just south of Sunset Boulevard. By the time I left the beach that day, I had resolved to improve my skills before venturing back out.

I’d been surfing for several years, but not with regularity. I had progressed from a beginner who could catch few if any waves to the point where I could catch plenty if the conditions were right, i.e. not too small or too big.

On that day, which locals still call Big Wednesday, the waves were often double my height. I quickly learned my limitations. My arms quickly became too tired to paddle, and queasiness and exhaustion made me fearful of -- not excited by -- the rare conditions. I wasn’t alone.

The surfer’s golden rule is to hold on to your surfboard, but that day each wave flung another board out ahead of it like a giant harpoon. Everywhere, surfers were in over their heads.

It was a tense crowd, and for good reason -- people can die in such situations.

Veteran surfer Jon Theodore of Santa Monica says he rescued a novice surfer that day after a huge wave knocked the man off his board and snapped off the leash connecting him to it. Theodore found him barely treading water and offered his own surfboard -- but the man lacked the strength even to get on it. Finally, with wave after wave washing past, the man clung to Theodore’s ankles as he paddled his board to shore.

“He couldn’t talk or even move his arms, and the lifeguard came over and just began berating him for even being out there,” Theodore said.

I was never in such dire straits, but without catching a wave I knew I’d had enough.

Back in the car with the heater on, I felt lucky to be alive. And I knew I couldn’t be caught in that position again.

First, get the body ready

Surfing pros and exercise physiologists say that time spent surfing is the most direct path to advancement at the sport.

But beginners often lack the cardiovascular capacity and basic arm and abdominal strength needed to paddle a 7- to 9-foot board. And even experienced surfers often need to improve lower body strength and flexibility if they want to perform advanced moves and stay limber enough to surf every day.

That’s where land exercises and strong swimming skills come in. Good surfers know this.

“When I can’t surf, I’ll go down to the pool for some lap swimming, or I’ll go play basketball,” said Rusty White, a Los Angeles surfer who has competed internationally. “Lots of surfers do yoga. But the best is probably swimming. If you swim a lot, you’ll catch plenty of waves.”

Although a swim stroke differs slightly from the motion required to paddle a surfboard, it increases range of motion in the shoulders, a common spot for stiffness after surfing. A stronger core can help surfers quickly leap to their feet and reduces the chance of a sore lower back later. And the pool is one of many places that surfers can practice holding their breath -- lowering the chance of panicking when a wave holds you underwater.

“I’m always working on building lung capacity, even if that means holding my breath at traffic lights,” said Theodore, who has surfed in experts-only places such as Indonesia and Oahu’s North Shore.

In my quest to become a better surfer, I found plenty of classes promising to make me stronger, some offering variations of yoga or Pilates as pathways to better balance and control of a surfboard.

Yet I’m a loner when it comes to exercise, and a cheapskate besides. So every day, I did push-ups to build arm and shoulder strength and sit-ups for my middle, in sets of 20, as many as I could handle. I also visited a pool for laps once or twice a week.

Within three weeks I was swimming 15 laps instead of five, and regularly exceeding 100 push-ups and sit-ups a day. By the beginning of February, I was ready to get back into the ocean.

Finally, fair skies and friendlier waves reappeared, and though I was less fatigued paddling, I found I was gun-shy about the surfer’s moment of truth: paddling for a larger wave with a no-turning-back, damn-the-torpedoes attitude.

Fear was holding me back.

Then train the brain

I confided my failure to Mary Setterholm, a former professional surfer who teaches lessons for the city of Santa Monica. Strength and skill are only part of the package, she said. I had to work on my mental game.

A former world champion who surfs big waves in Hawaii, Setterholm trains by paddling miles on her board and sprinting up sand dunes. Her confidence when the waves get rougher is buoyed by her regimen, but also by the attitude she takes in more dangerous conditions.

Setterholm recalls a scare she once had in Hawaii when she was tumbled underwater so much that she didn’t know which way to swim to get to the surface. Wasted energy in such a situation could be fatal. Then a macabre thought popped into her mind: “Dead or alive, you float.” She felt her body moving, and she swam that way, reaching the surface just in time to take a breath before the next wave sent her tumbling again.

“You have to really hustle. This is no slack time. You hear people from other sports say, ‘I’ve had a tough round, I’ll sit this one out.’ You cannot do timeouts in the impact zone. When you’re tired, you keep paddling ... when you’re afraid, you keep paddling.”

To get comfortable with bigger waves, she said, find a safe place to float a while and watch other surfers go. “Almost catch the wave, just to look and to feel it,” Setterholm said. “Then gather yourself together and say it’s time. Part of it is simply believing you will make it.”

I now knew that the physical and mental aspects of surfing were constant works in progress, but I still had more to learn: the social rules of surfing.

Surfer etiquette

Priorities are avoiding collisions, steering clear of hotheads and staking out territory as a surfer good enough to belong.

Ride a wave well and the crowd tends to part. But a surfer who takes off on a wave only to wipe out quickly may discover that, next time, other surfers will “drop in” on the same wave, signaling disrespect.

The same thing may happen if you show up with a cracked board, flail weakly for waves or let a wave separate you from your board, especially with others nearby. Letting your board crash into someone else’s or hitting someone riding a wave are sure ways to cause trouble.

Some take a “the waves-are-for-everybody” stance, but the reality is: You’re probably overestimating your ability and endangering others if you can’t stay out of the way and under control.

My skill-polishing quest paid off one recent morning. The sky was clear and the winds calm, with shoulder-high waves promising good rides. Only a few other surfers were out, and before long we saw dolphins playing.

As I paddled out, I noticed more energy in reserve -- and a mind ready to play the game of catching waves.

It was one of my best days yet.

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Learning to surf

Surf lessons for beginners are widely available in Southern California, with a surfboard and wetsuit provided.

* Show up with a swimsuit to wear underneath the wetsuit. Group lessons typically cost $50 per person; private lessons are more pricey. Surf Academy (surfacademy.com, [310] 372-2790) and Learn to Surf L.A. (learntosurfla.com, [310] 663-2479) offer lessons.

* Once you can stand up on a wave, consider renting a foam-covered board and wetsuit from a surf shop for a trip to a beginner-friendly spot such as Santa Monica Beach. You’ll want to rent a few times before spending hundreds of dollars on a surfboard, wetsuit and leash.

* For gym rats, Crunch Fitness in Los Angeles (323) 654-4550 offers a surfing fitness class. Wave-riding yogis can visit Yogaforsurfers.com to learn moves that ease aches and prep stiff bodies for surf sessions.

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-- Emmett Berg