Getting away from family stress

When Meshay was 6, her mother, Evelyn, took her to the hospital. Terrified of needles, Meshay took off running when she realized a big one was heading toward her arm.

“They had to hold her down,” Evelyn said.

What Meshay didn’t know was that Evelyn had recently learned she had developed AIDS, and the hospital visit was necessary to find out whether her daughter had it too. The test came back negative, and for the next three years, Evelyn hid her illness from her daughter. (For privacy reasons, family members chose to use just their middle names in this story.)

When Meshay was getting ready to enter middle school, Evelyn told her about her condition. Meshay’s reaction still makes Evelyn smile.

“I just told her I still love her,” Meshay recounted.

“Then she kissed me on my mouth -- and that meant a lot to me, that she would kiss me on the lips,” Evelyn said.

Since then, Meshay, now 16, has borne the stress of constantly worrying about her mom’s health. Evelyn has sought to hide her pain from Meshay and her son, Malik, who’s 10. But Meshay shoulders a heavy burden.

“She has a lot of concerns,” Evelyn said. “She tries to take on this role -- she says, ‘I’m going to take care of you and take care of Malik.’ ”

In fall 2004, Evelyn’s heart stopped. She was in the hospital when it happened and remembers waking up to a crowd of doctors and someone saying, “She’s back.”

Evelyn was given a pacemaker, but after surgery the wound over her heart became infected. She had to have the pacemaker removed while she healed -- a long process because her immune system was compromised. In the meantime, her pacemaker rested outside her neck and wires stuck out of her body. Evelyn worried what her children would think when they saw her, but Meshay was typically calm and comforting.

“I walked in and just laid down beside her and didn’t say anything,” Meshay said.

On and off for the past six years, Meshay has attended Camp Laurel, which offers weeklong sessions for children living with HIV and AIDS.

“It helps me take all my stress away,” Meshay said. “I get to talk to other people in the same situation as me. And I just know that I’m not alone.”

Because Camp Laurel’s programs are offered to children ages 6 to 16, this summer will be Meshay’s last as a camper. But she hopes to come back as a counselor-in-training next year.

Camp Laurel Executive Director Margot Andrew said she looks forward to bringing Meshay on. “She’s one of our best campers. She’s so sweet and so thoughtful.”

About 10,000 children will go to camp this summer, thanks to $1.6 million raised last year.

The annual fundraising campaign is part of the Los Angeles Times Family Fund of the McCormick Tribune Foundation, which this year will match the first $1.1 million in contributions at 50 cents on the dollar.

Donations are tax-deductible. For more information, call (213) 237-5771. To make donations by credit card, go to latimes.com/summercamp.

To send checks, use the attached coupon. Do not send cash.

Unless requested otherwise, gifts of $50 or more will be acknowledged in The Times.