A sense of space for boys and girls

RE “Do Kids Need Their Space?” (March 16): Dawn Bonker’s article was of particular interest to me, as my 4-year-old twins have shared a room since birth. My family keeps urging separation. The kids seem happy, we have no getting-to-sleep issues and really no space-sharing issues, as they are still young and they have never known a different room arrangement.

However, I was disappointed that you did not address the issue of gender as a factor in sharing or dividing rooms. I have a son and daughter, and I know in the future they will each need their own separate space. At what point do the experts think it appropriate to separate boys and girls?

CINDY MORGAN

Laguna Niguel

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Editor’s note: Opinions vary, but many of the experts interviewed for this story agree with Lawrence Balter, professor of applied psychology and codirector of the School Psychology Program at New York University: “After the preschool years, opposite sex siblings should probably be in separate rooms.”

Claire B. Kopp, a consultant to private and public agencies on parenting and the development of young children, suggests separating the twins when they reach kindergarten age. “There’s often self-selection for same sex peer groups at about that time, or in some instances a year or so earlier, and that typically becomes more evident in school.”

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