They need more hiring practice
These are strange days in San Diego, where the Chargers figured the best way to replace Marty Schottenheimer as head coach was to hire the guy Schottenheimer replaced as head coach in Washington in 2001, a guy who went 0-4 against Schottenheimer while coaching the Oakland Raiders in 2004 and 2005.
Norv Turner is also the guy Al Davis fired and replaced with Art Shell, who hadn’t been a head coach in 12 years and looked it last season, before Davis fired Shell and replaced him with Lane Kiffin, who was 14 when Shell was hired to coach the Los Angeles Raiders in 1989.
But at last the Chargers found a way to get a coach who doesn’t lose in the first round of the playoffs: Hire a coach who doesn’t make the playoffs.
Turner has reached the playoffs only once in nine seasons as an NFL coach. But he can truthfully say his teams never lost a first-round game.
In 1999, Turner’s Redskins went out in the second round.
Trivia time
Which team did Turner defeat for his only playoff victory?
Men of the people
After eight stints on the disabled list since joining the Cincinnati Reds in 2000, Ken Griffey Jr. was thought to have exhausted every possible way to get hurt. But no.
Griffey said he sustained his latest injury, a broken left hand, while wrestling with his children on his yacht in the Bahamas in December.
This comes in the wake of Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood’s revelation that he bruised ribs when he fell out of his hot tub.
Next, Barry Bonds reveals he strained his right elbow while nibbling foie gras and telling his agent, “Let the fans eat cake.”
Pinch, hitter
The new sport of yacht wrestling didn’t produce the weirdest injury of Griffey’s career.
That distinction goes to the time Griffey missed a game because his protective cup pinched him in the part of the body that cups are supposed to protect.
Metal to the pedal
Glasgow Rangers players had more than the usual head-set music during a recent flight to Tel Aviv for a UEFA Cup soccer match. They also had a musician in the pilot’s seat -- Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of the heavy metal band Iron Maiden.
A licensed commercial pilot, Dickinson moonlights by working for independent airline Astraeus, according to a report in the Scotsman.
Dickinson has followed the Rangers since former England captain Terry Butcher, an Iron Maiden fanatic, played for the club 20 years ago.
“When I heard that we were taking Rangers out to Israel,” Dickinson said, “I said, ‘I’m having that one.’ ”
Trivia answer
Washington defeated Detroit, 27-13, in an NFC wild-card game, then lost to Tampa Bay, 14-13, in the divisional playoffs.
And finally
Phoenix Suns Coach Mike D’Antoni had a succinct response when asked by the East Valley (Mesa, Ariz.) Tribune, “What’s your handicap in golf?” D’Antoni replied, “Talent.”