Honesty got him nowhere, man

Here is it is, a new year, and I am inspired to write to you again. I read “He Opened Up -- And Then She Shut Him Down” [Tell, Jan. 4] with great interest. I have had experience with a similar situation that again makes me think I am channeling George Costanza.

A former girlfriend (the one who later left me for a woman) asked me one evening, “What’s bothering you, sweetie?” “Uh oh,” I thought. She went on. “I can tell that something’s wrong. You can talk to me. Be honest. I won’t get mad.”

So, I spoke openly and honestly about something she had done that bothered me. I can’t even remember what it was, but it was inconsequential. I would have let it go had she not encouraged me to talk about it.

The result of my openness and honesty was that she became very angry and did not speak to me the rest of the evening. Our relationship was never the same.

From that point on, I was neither totally open nor totally honest with her. I had learned my lesson.

What I learned was that when a woman asks for openness and honesty, she may really be saying, “Tell me what I want to hear.”

Have I become a cynic? You bet!

PETER BOAM

San Pedro