Let’s do lunch

Arnold, isn’t it a little early for you to be going back to the future? It’s still 2008, Skynet hasn’t yet become self-aware, and you had a good, long movie career. So what if they are getting ready to shoot “Terminator 4” without you? You’re governor of California, for goodness’ sake! You’ve got two more years in office. And besides, you’ve got a budget deficit of $8 billion -- no, make that $16 billion -- wait, that’s apparently now $20 billion. You must have Hollywood accountants at work in the Capitol.

Hey, wait a minute. That gets us thinking.

How much do you suppose “T4” is going to make? With you in it, we mean. With all the merchandising and residuals and video game tie-ins. You know, this just might work. As long as you cut the state in on a piece of the action.

We notice you said the other day that you would consider appearing in “T4,” but only if it is shot in California. No excuse for shooting in Canada, you said, given the depressed condition of the dollar here. In other words, it’s just as cheap to shoot at home. We like the fact that you’re sticking up for the state. You haven’t forgotten you’re governor after all.

And besides, if Sylvester Stallone could come back as Rocky in his 60s, and Harrison Ford could still fit into Indiana Jones’ leather jacket in his 60s, there’s no good reason you, at 60, couldn’t come back as the Terminator. If things had gone differently in the recall, and it had been Gary Coleman who had won, we’re sure the 40-year-old would do his bit for California by reprising his role as Arnold from “Diff’rent Strokes.” And if it had been Mary Carey -- well, never mind. But the point is, it was you. So it’s either “T4” or “True Lies 2.” We vote for “T4.”

We’re hoping the story takes place sometime in the near future, when cyborgs team up with John Connor to eliminate the budget deficit and provide healthcare and a first-rate education for all Californians. Let the DVD label say science fiction if that’s what sells. We’d be happier with a documentary.