Her duties go far beyond ‘secretary’

Dear Amy: I work for a lovely couple at a family-run educational nonprofit.

They are in their mid- and late 70s, and very open-minded. However, every time the husband talks about me to clients or introduces me to them he refers to me as their secretary.

I am a 37-year-old college-educated woman. Before this job I was a manager at a large, prestigious company. I was hired as the marketing department here but have ended up taking on work including bookkeeping and taxes -- duties far beyond my job description.

We recently hired an intern who is younger than me. When we met, I was again introduced as the secretary. I had to leave the room as my eyes started welling up and I was fuming.

I am aware that “secretary” didn’t have negative connotations when my boss was in the prime of his career and I know that he is not intentionally demeaning me.

I feel that he needs to realize this is an outdated expression.

Distressed in D.C.

Dear Distressed: You have an opportunity to start the new year with a new title, so seize the moment and ask your bosses for a meeting.

Because your duties have recently expanded, you should review your professional standing and compensation. Tell your bosses that you’d appreciate it if they would refer to you as the marketing manager, office manager or whatever title you mutually agree upon.

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Dear Amy: I was asked, point blank, to lend an item to someone. I’ve known this woman for quite a while, but we are not close.

How to respond? I couldn’t just say no, because it is common knowledge I have lent this item before. In my opinion, the one asking would not take good care of my property.

I made up some story that the item would not meet her needs and that she should look elsewhere.

What should I have done?

Rightful Owner

Dear Owner: Just because someone asks you for something, it doesn’t mean you have to comply.

However, there are times when a slight untruth beats the unvarnished truth, and this is one of those times. If you didn’t want to lend your item, it was fine to say, “I don’t think this will do the job you need done, so I’d rather not lend it out.”

Send questions to Amy Dickinson to askamy@tribune .com or to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.