He wronged his baby boy’s mother

Dear Amy: I need help on how to win my son’s mother back.

I have been very selfish. I guess I wasn’t ready for everything that was coming at me when my girlfriend gave birth to our baby. I didn’t realize how well she was treating me.

I thought I needed space. I thought I needed to have fun while I was still young, but I ended up being a big jerk and making her feel worthless.

I’ve been beating myself up for about eight months since our breakup, and I want to show her that she is my world and that I will never leave her again.

I know I hurt her by leaving her alone with our newborn son. I just don’t know how to show her how I feel or how to make her notice the change in me.

Changed Man

Dear Changed: I give you tons of credit for wanting to prove yourself, but don’t focus too much on winning your son’s mother back; that might put too much pressure on both of you.

Show your son and his mom the kind of man you have become by stepping up as a father.

You should meet your financial obligations toward your son (if you don’t already) and spend as much time with him as possible.

Apologize to your ex by writing her and your son a letter in which you promise to be the kind of man they deserve to have in their lives.

You can prove yourself in many ways. You don’t have to shower your baby with gifts or toys -- but give him big doses of love and affection.

Your actions will speak for themselves, and if your ex is smart she will be watching you closely.

::

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 11 years. When we got married, I did not change my name. We have two children who share my husband’s last name.

This holiday season we received many thoughtful cards addressed to “The Smith family,” or “The Smiths.”

We received only one card that was addressed properly, indicating our separate names.

Is there is a polite way to remind people that my last name is not Smith and that we are “the Jones Smith family”?

Is there a polite way if handling this or should I let it go?

Not Mrs. Smith

Dear Not: Let it go. When this issue has cropped up in my life, I remind myself that it’s not the worst thing in the world to be lumped together with the husband and kids.

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