Mom, friends fed up with teenager’s drama

Dear Amy: I’m at a loss as to how to deal with my 16-year-old daughter and to teach her how to “play nice.” She is beautiful but lacking in social skills needed to get along well with her peers. At school, she acts rudely toward others. Her humor toward her friends reeks with sarcasm and can be very hurtful. She will talk only to a few people.

She has a small group of friends, but is the source of constant drama. Her friends are tiring of her antics.

I have serious concerns about my daughter’s future. I worry about her ability to hold a job and get along with co-workers and a boss, her ability to nurture a child, etc.

I try to provide guidance, but this is really difficult with an incorrigible teen. I feel as if I’m damaging our future relationship.

It disturbs my husband and me to see our daughter treat others so poorly and to be disliked by her peers.

Should I continue to try to intervene, even if it means we get into a screaming match, or should I back off?

Not Giving Up

Dear Not: Don’t give up on your daughter. She would benefit from spending time outside her comfort zone. Offer her the experience of spending time with people who are immune to her attitude because they’ve got bigger problems.

There are many service groups giving young people the chance to help others in need in far-flung places as well as in your own community, through churches, shelters and hospitals.

Sign your daughter up for volunteer service and insist she follow through.

People who are socially aggressive are often wounded and vulnerable. A counselor might help to crack her facade, giving you insight and giving her a new script to follow.

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Dear Amy: “Lost Lawyer” was concerned about an inheritance imbalance.

Why don’t siblings who receive inheritances share them? When my mom died, she left me as a beneficiary, but not my brother. I gave my brother half the assets. It keeps the love flowing.

Sharing Sister

Dear Sister: Unfortunately, many people are not as generous as you are.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.