In Virginia, modesty is abolished at the Capitol

Risking earthquakes, Virginia Atty. Gen. Ken Cuccinelli announced Monday that he is discontinuing the use of a new family-friendly state seal he created only days prior in favor of a more pornographic version that has been used for eons.

Cuccinelli presented a lapel pin for his staff with the G-rated state seal late last month. The problem with the Revolutionary-War-era seal is that the Roman goddess Virtus had a breast exposed. Granted, she’s no Pamela Anderson (or Olive Oyl even), but her eroticism was too much for Cuccinelli and he had her adorned with a breastplate.

We theorized that the move was because of an Iranian cleric’s recent declaration that women who dress suggestively increase the frequency of earthquakes.

Cuccinelli, oddly, didn’t mention that in a statement he released Monday. But he did blame the media for making too much of the issue (we’re sure he wasn’t talking about us, though).

“The image on my office lapel pin is similar to that of a large antique state flag that hangs in the Virginia Capitol,” he said. “That is where I got the idea for my pin. I liked this particular image and thought it would be something unique for my employees.”

“I cannot believe that joking with my staff about Virtus being a little more ‘virtuous’ in this antique version has become news. This is simply a media-made issue that has become distracting to the work of my office.”

“I am going to end this distraction by discontinuing future use of the pin,” he fumed.

So soon? That was fast. One of our readers mocked that the attorney general should have done more!

“Perhaps next, Mr. Cuccinelli will prohibit women from looking down, lest they be scandalized from the sight of their own breasts,” wrote Brendan.

While reader John Stevenson sounded a bit like Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler when he wrote: “That doesn’t even look like a female. You could have told me that was a dude and I would have believed you.”

Oh, Ohio: the state that keeps on giving. And in such a spectacularly bipartisan way!

On Monday, the toupee-wearing, leisure-suit-donning, “Star-Trek”-quoting ex-con James A. Traficant Jr. announced he was running once again for Congress. Now, it’s even better. Toledo’s most famous nonplumbing plumber is making the news.

Joe the Plumber is back!

Plumber (not his real name, but we gave up on calling him Samuel Wurzelbacher more than a year ago) is back in politics. No, he hasn’t joined anyone’s political campaign, reminiscent of the glorious McCain-Palin-Plumber presidential ticket of 2008. This time he’s been elected on his own merits.

On Tuesday, Plumber won one of nearly 400 seats on the local Republican Party committee in Ohio’s Lucas County. In this position, he’ll help set the party agenda and vote on the party chairman.

It’s been a while since Plumber has been in the spotlight. It’s not like he totally disappeared or anything. It’s just that he’s been working on policy matters: like formulating his opinion on the undocumented-worker issue that’s become particularly explosive in Arizona.

Plumber unveiled a rather succinct white paper last month at a “tea party” rally: “Illegal immigration?” he said. “Put a fence up and start shooting!”

This represents yet another side to Plumber. Sure, he’s outlined some domestic and foreign policy positions before. On the topic of freedom of speech, he offered an historical perspective: “Back in the day, really, when people would talk about our military in a poor way, somebody would shoot ‘em. And there’d be nothing said about that.”

While working as a war reporter in Israel, he recommended that “media be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting.”

We don’t know how he’ll fare as Honorable Joe the Plumber, but he’s going to have to do it without the help of his former presidential running mates. He loathes them.

Just a couple months ago, he said of McCain: “He really screwed my life up.” Sarah Palin too? Yep. Her sin? She backs McCain.

andrew.malcolm@latimes.com

Top of the Ticket, The Times’ blog on national politics (www.latimes.com/ ticket), is a blend of commentary, analysis and news. These are selections from the last week.