!Salud!

You spend months planning, dreaming, arguing and waiting for your wedding day. So why would you waste this tremendous opportunity to acknowledge the friends and loved ones who have gathered to celebrate your marriage? (Hey, they’re not there for the best man, yet he’s up on his feet with a clever speech.)

It’s time for both groom and bride to speak up, to raise a glass to their guests and new spouse, and to share a few words from the heart on this singular day. Take the stage for a moment or two, and your celebration will be warmer and more festive for the effort. You are, after all, the reason all these people are attending a celebration (great hors d’oeuvres notwithstanding).

JoAnn Gregoli, a New York- and New Jersey-based wedding consultant, encourages couples to toast. “The couple making a toast gives the guests a sense of appreciation,” she said. Besides, a lost opportunity can leave a tinge of regret. Chances are, this particular collection of old college buddies, distant grand-aunts and in-laws’ cousins is not likely ever to be together again. Seize the moment: You are more likely to feel sorry for not speaking than for saying a few simple words of welcome and gratitude.

Ice-breaking 101
Start off by making your guests chuckle to get them engaged. No need to tell a knee-slapper, but do start with something light and amusing. Some people are not great joke-tellers, but you don’t have to be Conan O’Brien to be funny. Tell a story about your new spouse that always makes you grin (but nothing embarrassing!). Or describe the first time your parents met your intended, if it was offbeat. The things that will make people smile are those that are personal but never mean-spirited.

Bonnie Kowar, a wedding consultant from Vail, Colo., will never forget the toasts of one particular couple: “One bride told the 200 friends and family gathered that she never thought she would get married because there just wasn’t any man as wonderful as her golden retriever. When the groom had his moment in the spotlight, he approached the microphone, looked out at all of the guests for a moment, and in a deep voice said, ‘Woof, woof.’ That brought down the house!”

Say What?
Whatever you say, say it simply and say it quickly. Two or three minutes are sufficient for this toast, especially if both the bride and groom are planning to speak. Be sure to thank your parents and your in-laws. Next, thank all your guests for coming. Finally, toast your new wife or husband. Don’t tell long stories about your childhood or growing up. Don’t thank a long list of people: You have not won an Academy Award here. Don’t say a single thing that you would not repeat to your mother-in-law or your grandmother if she were the only one in the room. This is not the time for anything even slightly raunchy.

Don’t tell inside jokes in order to make your old college roommates guffaw: It’s rude not to be inclusive of the entire group. For example, don’t say, “And thanks to Shirley and Steffi. Don’t worry, the cotton candy came out.” But you can say, “I especially want to thank my bridesmaids for the trip to the amusement park we took last week. It was great being a kid again with you guys — and I did manage to get that cotton candy out of my hair.”

Where’s My Teleprompter?
Though index cards may have worked nicely in your high school civics class, at your own wedding, this technique lacks that warm, personal touch. Your toast should feel spontaneous and sincere — which is not what comes across when you whip out that stack of 3x5s. The key is to practice but appear unrehearsed. In fact, you may have to practice at appearing unrehearsed.

One way to accomplish this is not to write anything down, except perhaps for a list of single words or names so that you don’t forget anyone. Kowar recalls a bride who made everyone laugh by thanking her hairdresser for making the day possible. Alas, the same bride failed to toast her groom. Get set in your mind the gist of what you want to say, whom you want to thank and the few little anecdotes you intend to sprinkle in. Then, at the right moment, let the spirit of the celebration inspire you.

When to Take the Stage
Your moment can come after the traditional speeches from the best man and bride’s father (though other people, including the groom’s father or the maid of honor, may also speak) before or during the meal. But many wedding consultants, including Jean Picard of Santa Barbara, urge couples to speak just before the cake-cutting. “This time works well,” she said, “because it’s not just ‘one more toast’ along with the other toasts; and at this point the bride and groom already have everyone’s attention.”

Finally, don’t forget to cue the photographer during the big moment. You’ll want a photo of the bride raising her glass to her groom, with the wedding cake in the background.

— Lisa Carse
From TheKnot.com | Read more