7th Heaven
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Hollywood’s advice for the Octomom

7th Heaven
Single mom Nadya Suleman’s got her hands full with 14 kids and her new TV special “Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage” airing Aug. 19 on Fox. And if Hollywood is good for anything, it’s presenting a real, raw look at domestic life. (“The Waltons,” anyone?) We zoom in on 14 super-sized families from TV and film and glean the important lessons learned from each.

‘7th Heaven’

Number of kids: Seven (plus stragglers)

Advice for Nadya: They’re always going to get into trouble, so impart a moral lesson after every mishap. Pray a lot.

— Jevon Phillips (James Sorensen)
Quintuplets
‘Quintuplets’

Number of kids: Five

Advice for Nadya: Never forget: Kids aren’t cute forever. They become evil teenagers.

— Denise Martin (Fox)
Horton Hears A Who
‘Horton Hears a Who’

Number of kids: There are millions upon millions of Whos down in Who-ville, and plenty of baby Whos among them.

Advice for Nadya: As Horton says, a person’s a person, no matter how small. So don’t forget about the tiniest of your 14 little ones.

— Denise Martin (Twentieth Century Fox)
The Partridge Family

‘The Partridge Family’

Number of kids: Five

Advice for Nadya: Find out early if your children have any musical talent — it worked for the Jacksons.

— Jevon Phillips

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The Sound of Music
‘The Sound of Music’

Number of kids: Seven

Advice for Nadya: Stay strong in the face of trials, whether you face a frog, an evil dictatorship or a conniving baroness. Give kids time, bike rides and curtains for clothes and even the most stubborn with call you Fraulein with love. — Rebecca Snavely (Twentieth Century Fox)
Brothers & Sisters
‘Brothers & Sisters’

Number of kids: Five

Advice for Nadya: Nora Walker ( Sally Field) gets overly stressed when it comes to her children’s lives, loves and futures. Make sure you have your own hobby to focus on, and don’t be upset if your children can’t always be at the same table for dinner.

— Lora Victorio (ABC)
Just the Ten of Us
‘Just the 10 of Us’

Number of kids: 8

Advice for Nadya: The teenage girls will always be the center of attention, but when all else fails, form a band.

— Todd Martens (Warner Bros.)
‘Eight Is Enough’
‘Eight Is Enough’

Number of kids: Eight

Advice for Nadya: It’s too late. The lesson is in the title

— Todd Martens (Warner Bros. Television)
‘The Brady Bunch’
The Brady Bunch

Number of kids: Six (plus cousin Oliver)

Advice for Nadya: Get a wagon and get out of the house! Camping at the Grand Canyon with Native American neighbors, unearthing an ancient tabu in Hawaii, it’s all about the lessons learned. And don’t forget to pack your Alice.

— Rebecca Snavely (Nick at Nite)
‘Yours, Mine and Ours’
‘Yours, Mine and Ours

Number of kids: 18

Advice to Nadya: Pull any kind of “Brady Bunch” marriage to a man with kids, and your 14 children are going to hate you (more than they already will).

— Denise Martin (Sam Emerson / Paramount Pictures)
‘Cheaper by the Dozen’
‘Cheaper by the Dozen’

Number of kids: 12

Advice for Nadya: Don’t ground all 12 of your kids — especially if your eldest is 22 — unless your house is equipped with top-secret locks to keep them in. Better yet, don’t have 12 kids!

— Denise Martin (Peter Stranks / Twentieth Century Fox)
The Waltons
‘The Waltons’

Number of kids: Seven

Advice for Nadya: Those kids aren’t just conversation pieces, pets or flashy attention-getters. They’re tiny humans! Take a page from the book of the industrious Mr. Walton and put those kids to work! You don’t have to run a lumber mill — a cool fro-yo shop will do nicely — but when it comes to getting the economy going again, we all have to do our part. Even the littlest members of society.

— Patrick Kevin Day (CBS)
‘Aliens’
‘Aliens’

Number of children: Hundreds. But they mostly come out at night. Mostly.

Advice for Nadya: Don’t listen to the haters, Nadya! Now that you’ve got 14 kids, you probably outnumber most entities that are giving you grief in the media. Just bide your time and as soon as the kids are big enough, sic ‘em on those who sought to bring you down.

— Patrick Kevin Day (Twentieth Century Fox)
‘The Simpsons’
‘The Simpsons’

Number of kids: Apu has eight children

Advice for Nadya: Watch out when dealing with fertility drugs. Oh, wait ...

— Jevon Phillips (Fox)
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