9:50 p.m. The beards been thinned once with a rechargeable trimmer, and Ive shaved near the neck. Oddly, it doesnt look much different. With a little bit of shaping, it could be a Garibaldi-style full beard. I dub it the Meth Dealer.
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Jack Passion leads with his beard (Adam Tschorn / For The Times)
10:02 p.m. Ah, there is a face underneath. The sink in the bathroom looks as if Ive skinned a possum, but Im now the proud owner of a goatee-style partial beard that I call the Manson.
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Jack Passion leads with his beard (Adam Tschorn / For The Times)
10:30 p.m. My attempt at carving out the Musketeer resulted in me nicking my chin with the razor and using the trimmer made the ends of the mustache look like a poorly maintained hedge. On further reflection, it looks bulky enough to be something more like a Three Musketeers.
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10:43 p.m. This doesnt exist as a category of facial hair anywhere on Earth (though under WBMC rules it would fall into the wide category of partial beard freestyle). Im pretty sure that if I were wearing this stache/soul patch combination in real life, Id also be wearing leather chaps.
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10:47 p.m. I hope you didnt mess with my Harley. Seriously.
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Jack Passion leads with his beard (Adam Tschorn / For The Times)
10:59 p.m. My buddy Bill says that in this photo I look like a high school phys ed teacher, but to me this is a classic 70s-era porn mustache. Looking in the bathroom mirror I can practically hear the chicka-chicka-chicka kabow music and smell the Nivea.
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Jack Passion leads with his beard (Adam Tschorn / For The Times)
11:03 p.m. Excited at the prospect of finishing, I trim a little too quickly, leaving an uneven short-throw stache that reminds me of Mario the Plumber from the Donkey Kong video game.
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Jack Passion leads with his beard (Adam Tschorn / For The Times)
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11:15 p.m. Mission accomplished. The entirety of my beard now is now making its way through the plumbing of the Westmark Hotel, and for the first time since Oct. 3, my face is completely bare. After this photo, I decamp to the Glacier Brewhouse across the street where one I’m promptly ignored by one of the bearded competitors Ive come to know. Only a few moments on the outside and Ive already suffered the sting of beardist prejudice.
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Jack Passion leads with his beard (Adam Tschorn / For The Times)
