Mark Twain
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Mark Twain and some of his best insults

Author Mark Twain, born Samuel Clemens, in an undated photo. Twain was known for his ability to deliver an insult, often aimed at humanity in general. Among them: “One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain’t nothing can beat teamwork.” (Associated Press)
Samuel Clemens, in front of his childhood home in Hannibal, Mo., in 1902, once said: “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” (University of California Press)
Mark Twain said of Lilian Aldrich, wife of poet and novelist Thomas Bailey Aldrich: “I do not believe I could learn to like her except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight” (from Twain’s “Eruption: Hitherto Unpublished Pages About Men and Events.”) (Associated Press / The Mark Twain House & Museum)
Famous words from Mark Twain: "[H]e wasn’t a very heavy weight, intellectually. His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.” (“A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court). (Christopher Reynolds)
The author’s thoughts on newspapers: “The trouble is that the stupid people -- who constitute the grand overwhelming majority of this and all other nations -- do believe and are molded and convinced by what they get out of a newspaper.” (Courtesy of the Mark Twain Project)
Hal Holbrook brought to life Twain and his sayings in “Mark Twain Tonight” at the Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts. (Cerritos Center for Performing Arts)