Is ignoring guests part of the new wedding etiquette?

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: My husband and I recently attended a family wedding at which the bride and groom did not make any organized attempt to greet their guests, i.e., no receiving line, no ushering the guests out of their seats as the couple left the ceremony, etc. When it became clear that the couple did not plan to go from table to table to greet their guests during the dinner reception, my husband and I left our table to seek out the bride — who by this time was taking selfies with her friends — and congratulate her.

At that point, the groom was in another part of the wedding venue, presumably hanging out with his buddies, so we were never even introduced to him. Is this the new normal among millennials? Is it now up to us, as guests, to seek out/interrupt the bridal couple to offer our congratulations? Many of our family members had come from out of state to attend this event, and none of us had yet met the groom.

Incidentally, the couple are in their late 30s and were not raised by wolves, so it’s hard to excuse them on the basis of youth or inexperience in social settings.

— More Than Disappointed

And this …

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: Last year my husband and I attended four weddings. I know it may take some time, but what happened to a “receiving line” or even greeting your guests by their tables? Only one couple greeted us at one of the past weddings and did it again at our table for a photo op. The other three weddings: nada. What is this about?

Also, what is the proper amount of time to receive a thank-you, especially from those who never said hello at the wedding?

— Not a Wedding Expert

Dear Disappointed and Not an Expert: As you can attest from personal experience, wedding receiving lines are going out of style. They’re just not considered a must by today’s bridal couples. I get that. The bride and groom want to have fun, get the party started and not spend tedious hours in a line when the festivities are going on around them. And let’s face it, standing in line waiting to say hi to the bride and groom is not much fun for guests either.

That said, the bride and groom should greet every guest — if only for a few seconds. This can be handled pretty simply by stopping by every table to say a few (brief!) words of thanks for coming. That way, the guests are seated and enjoying food, drink and conversation and not just yearning to get the receiving line over with and head for the bar. As for the wedding gift thank-you, all the sources I checked say that thank-you notes should arrive within three months of the wedding.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I find your column interesting, am thankful I don’t have the fashion and cosmetic problems women have and am curious if you know what percentage of your readers are men?

— Mike B.

Dear Mike: Glad to hear from you. Yeah, men sure have it easy when it comes to makeup! As you might expect, since I answer questions on shopping and beauty products (and loads on issues that crop up around weddings), the majority of my readers are women. I haven’t done an actual count of male vs. female readers’ questions, but what is interesting is that the number of queries from men is definitely growing. I’m hoping that trend continues because I have lots of advice for guys. All they have to do is ask.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I want to buy some new glasses and like the round ones. However, every place I went to, the glasses I tried on seemed too Harry Potter — just too big. I’m petite, and they overwhelmed my face. They’re so expensive nowadays that I don’t want to make a blunder. Suggestions, please.

— Kit B.

Dear Kit: I know what you mean. The cost of eyeglasses seems to be escalating by the hour. It is easy now to spend $500 for a single pair. I don’t know about you, but my insurance doesn’t pay anywhere near that for eyewear. Come to think of it, I don’t have vision insurance at all any more. Petite people are actually at an advantage in the optical marketplace. Go to the children’s’ section of the optician, and try on the frames there. They’re fashion forward — not all cartoon-themed in candy colors — and less expensive than the adult counterparts.

Angelic readers 1

Loryn K. has this shopping advice: “In your recent column, Carrie wrote about the sensor tag that was left on the dress she bought from Nordstrom’s for her son’s graduation. She would have noticed this much earlier if she had washed it or had the item cleaned prior to wearing.

“These days I never wear a new clothing item until it’s been washed. Think about it — where has this item been? A factory, transportation (often from across the world) by boat or truck, and then tried on in dressing rooms by who knows how many people, wearing what kind of (or no) undergarments or fragrances? Ick! Even if it looks OK, I just remind myself of these factors and make time to clean the item.”

Angelic readers 2

From Holly R.: “Like the reader who complained that sleeveless clothes have huge armholes, I have the same complaint. However, both sleeveless tops and sleeveless dresses at Talbots (talbots.com) do not have large armholes, and are stylish and suitable for older as well as younger women. They are the only sleeveless dresses and tops I now buy, due to the large armhole problem in the rest of the sleeveless dresses and tops.”

Now it’s your turn

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