Chasing Down the Muse: Holidays need not be joyous for everyone

Glad Tidings!

Happy Hanukkah!

Joy to the World!

Merry…. Well, you get the drift. A plethora of holiday greetings abound all around us. This is the time of year when the greetings and words used range from pleasant to gleeful and closing in on downright joyfully giddy. Definitely, there is a tendency to treat those not laughing all the way as grumpy and Scrooge-like. Even when perhaps justified for a variety of reasons, one feels guilty going the Bah, Humbug route.

But wait a minute. A little compassion here, please.

If you read this column even only on occasion you know that I am a pretty joy-filled person. I can find joy in the simplest of things and feel blessed in this natural propensity. So when an acquaintance recently posted on Facebook a plea for others to have some understanding that everyone did not feel the joy of the holiday season, it gave me pause.

Her posting reminded us that often the holidays can be tough on even the most resilient, joyful of folks. Just take a moment to imagine what it must be like for those who have suffered recent losses or who have chronic, debilitating conditions. Understand that it is difficult to get into the merry making at these times. It is challenging to hold grief and joy in the same moment.

With all this in mind, the gift of a simple smile or “Hello” can certainly be offered to all and, if not returned in kind, not taken personally. Offering kindnesses without expectation of return has a reward in itself.

Let those of us who are fortunate enough to feel the joy of the season, with cozy fires and family surrounding us in laughter and song and good food, take just a moment to count these blessings. And in the counting, add some understanding and compassion for those less fortunate.

Thank you, Jennifer, for the reminder.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

— Dalai Lama

CHERRIL DOTY is an artist, writer and teacher who embraces the mystery and magic of all that is life. You can reach her at (714) 745-9973 or by email at cherril@cherrildoty.com.