Tips for taking control of bad situations

Dwight Bain is a mental-health counselor born and raised in Orlando. But with Hurricane Ivan threatening to become the third calamity to hit Florida in a month, he’s adopting a New York state of mind.

“This would be a good time to be from Brooklyn,” he said. “Because people from Brooklyn say, ‘What? You want a piece of me?’ People should watch The Sopranos and just practice. You know, ‘Are you lookin’ at me, Ivan?’ ”

Bain, who specializes in crisis counseling, is not being flippant. His point is to take away the sense of victimization many people feel in the wake of back-to-back hurricanes. The more control we can take -- real or imagined -- the better we’re likely to feel.

“People have a normal need to feel in control of their surroundings,” he said. “You lose control of just about everything in a disaster like this one” -- even control over what happens to your own home.

Parents can help children cope by giving them a measure of control, too. Find a way to let them feel like they’re doing something to help -- whether it’s picking out canned soup or carrying pillows and blankets to a hurricane closet or raking up debris.

It’s important to be honest with kids, he said. Don’t tell them the storm won’t hit the area if forecasts are still uncertain. But do emphasize that you have a strategy for coping with it -- boarding up the windows or going to a shelter, for instance.

It’s important to let them talk about how they feel, and for you to share with other adults what you’ve been through. Connect with your friends and family, and your faith. And try to get back to some semblance of routine as quickly as possible.

Also, if you find yourself seeking comfort food lately, Bain said, cut yourself some slack.

“Obviously, don’t go out and eat 2 pounds of chocolate,” he said. “But, psychologically, people are craving something that will bring them normalcy.”

Bain further advises that we nurture our senses -- maybe get a massage, light a fragrant candle, play soothing music. If you can, give yourself a break from dealing with storm damage or waiting for the latest projections.

“Maybe watch a football game on TV,” he suggested. “And if they go to the news and say, ‘Here’s Hurricane Ivan,’ turn that sucker off.”

KATE SANTICH, LINDA SHRIEVES OF THE SENTINEL STAFF