Perrie Edwards, Zayn Malik aren't married -- take deep breaths, everyone

Perrie Edwards, Zayn Malik aren't married -- take deep breaths, everyone
There is no "Perrie Malik" here: Little Mix is, from left, Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Jesy Nelson, Perrie Edwards and Jade Thirlwall. (Ben A. Pruchnie / Getty Images)

Perrie Edwards and Zayn Malik did not secretly get married, his rep confirmed Friday in a rumor rebuttal that's hilarious in the fact that it even exists.

The marriage speculation on social media was sparked by a video the Little Mix women put out Thursday on Instagram in which the three who have boyfriends each identify themselves by their own first names and their beaux's last names. Hence, the moment when Edwards flips her hair and calls herself "Perrie. Malik." In a one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other moment on the tour bus, Jane Thirwall then poutily says, "I'm Jane."

Because -- here's the punch line -- she's single. And they were teasing her about that. And she was playing along with it.

Little Mix's rep explained the whole thing to E! News, noting, "They were teasing her. Nothing more."

It was a joke, people. Remember jokes? (What was it Jerry Seinfeld's been saying about P.C. younger people not tolerating comedy anymore? Yeesh.)

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A video posted by Little Mix (@littlemixofficial) on

As Gossip Cop noted, some of those who saw the video did get the joke and tried to explain it to others who were hyperventilating over it, giving older generations some hope that humanity will survive.

Of course, the girl-group member and the One Direction defector are in fact engaged -- they have been for quite a while now -- but Edwards has said she and Malik are going to "go with the flow" and wait to plan their big day for when they're not so busy.

Though with him leaving One Direction in March, he's not quite as busy now as when she said that in December ...

Follow Christie D'Zurilla on Twitter @theCDZ and Google+. Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter @LATcelebs.