‘Dancing With the Stars’ recap: Watch a ‘Breaking Bad’ jazz dance, ‘True Blood’ tango and more

The burning question going into this week’s “Dancing With the Stars” wasn’t which contestant would be sent packing at the end of the night or who would perform to the goofiest TV theme song. I’m declaring a tie between Paula Deen (“Gilligan’s Island”) and Hayes Grier (“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”) on the latter.

It was whether “Real Housewives of Atlanta” alum Kim Zolciak would make an appearance after a mini-stroke last week left her hospitalized and out of commission, presumably, for nonessential activity such as airplane travel and rehearsal for a reality competition series.

Zolciak suffered a transient ischemic attack Wednesday, shortly after flying home from Los Angeles following back-to-back “DWTS” episodes. The 37-year-old football wife reported on Instagram that “the left side of my body went completely numb and my speech was gone.”

She spent several days in the hospital, some of it with cast member and partner Tony Dovolani at her bedside, and she told People magazine on Sunday that, “I hope this will not be the end of dancing.”

But according to “DWTS” rules, it is the end, said co-host Tom Bergeron during a segment devoted to her medical scare. Kim did show up, via FaceTime, explaining that she could dance but she couldn’t travel, per doctor’s orders, after going through “the scariest experience” of her life that started with a blood clot.

Tony hoped the rules could be bent, and Bergeron read the specific guideline that says if a contestant misses an episode due to illness, that star must withdraw from the competition. The audience jeered.

So, Kim’s out by default. Let the social media war begin!

That brought the pool down to 10 couples for TV Night and meant that even though Paula and Andy Grammer were in jeopardy after scores were tallied, no one went home.

Another upbeat moment in the personnel department: affable Season 19 champ Alfonso Ribeiro joined as a welcome guest judge. Who can resist the guy who originated the Carlton? No one! Ribeiro, who got a “DWTS” popularity bump, parlayed it into a hosting gig of his own on ABC’s “American’s Funniest Home Videos.”

He was an energetic addition to the critiquing panel. Can he come back more often?

And speaking of ABC’s synergistic tendencies, the network used “DWTS” to push one of its high-profile new fall series, “The Muppets,” with Kermit, Gonzo, Pepe the King Prawn and other iconic puppets woven into the opening number. Miss Piggy hijacked co-host Erin Andrews’ job at one point and nearly violated Derek Hough at another. Avert your eyes, children!

Here’s how the contestants hoofed it, in chronological order.

Carlos PenaVega and Witney Carson

Carlos wanted Witney to eat less before their lift-heavy routine, and Witney wanted Carlos to work out harder. So they tussled during their video segment. During their jazz number to “The Golden Girls” theme, I was way too distracted by their Grandma and Grandpa getups to pay much attention to their dancing. Did it go well? Alfonso wanted more energy and finished moves from Carlos, and Julianne Hough thought the oldster characters might’ve overwhelmed the performance. Carrie Ann Inaba felt like he was shrinking, and not just because he was playing an old dude. Bruno Tonioli was the most positive, saying the dance reminded him of “Cocoon,” and that it was their best partnering yet.

Score: 31

Paula Deen and Louis van Amstel

Remember what I said a few weeks ago about novelty acts? Well -- Paula as Lovey Howell dancing to the “Gilligan’s Island” theme? Sounds about right. Paula cried and complained a lot in rehearsal. She thought she should’ve been Mary Ann! And she needed a nap! There was more prancing and less samba in that number, and Julianne wanted it to be better than it was. Carrie Ann thought the Southern chef captured the spirit of the classic TV series and told her not to give up. Alfonso liked her “toe leads.” (Dawn Wells was actually in the audience, which was cool and strange at the same time.)

Score: a pithy 20 (boos from the audience)

Tamar Braxton and Valentin Chmerkovskiy

Val harped on their chemistry, or lack thereof, and Tamar shot daggers out of her eyes during their video segment. I’ve said it before: she really really does not dig her partner, whom she called “macho” only because she stopped herself from saying something worse. Tamar’s lovely skills on the dance floor have consistently made up for their obvious antagonism. It worked again with their tango to the “Mad Men” theme. Carrie Ann called it “must-see TV,” and Alfonso dubbed her a front-runner but said she needed to let Val lead, which meant she needed to follow. These two will butt heads until the finale, I predict.

Score: an impressive 33

Alexa PenaVega and Mark Ballas

Haz-mat suits, blue meth, bald head, gas masks – Mark Ballas was in his element because he’s basically the Method version of a ballroom dancer. And as it turned out, “Breaking Bad” was his favorite show ever, so he was psyched about choreographing a jazz number to the dearly departed drama. Carrie Ann thought it was “genius,” and “gender nonspecific” and “powerful,” and Alfonso told Alexa she “can win.” Julianne thought they were a team for the first time. Bruno was “totally transfixed” and said she kept up with her pro partner.

Score: 36 (highest of the night so far)

Andy Grammer and Allison Holker

Andy’s everyday pompadour fit right in with the 1950s-era theme from “American Bandstand,” so no hairpiece required. The costumes were spiffy and fun, as was the quickstep. It was lively, even though Andy is currently on a draining concert tour, crisscrossing the country, and he’s so exhausted he doesn’t even know which city he’s performing in sometimes. He’s persistently good-natured on “DWTS,” though. Will it win him the votes he needs to stick around? Alfonso told him to open his shoulders, and Julianne agreed that the posture could’ve been better, but the footwork and timing were solid. Bruno said they captured the period but wanted Andy to be more precise. Carrie Ann said she hoped for more partner cooperation.

Score: 29

Gary Busey and Anna Trebunskaya

Gary was “hurt in his heart” by last week’s cellar dweller score (15) for the paso doble, but he wasn’t giving up, even though he wasn’t so sure he could master the tango to “The Addams Family” theme. He probably did more steps and more actual dancing than any other week so far, and the costumes suited both him and Anna. Super sexy Morticia! And then he admitted to going commando. Why? Bring the crazy, Gary! Julianne said he improved and persevered, nailing “every single step.” Bruno was aghast that Gary “did the tango,” and Carrie Ann made some weird noises about how handsome he looked in his Gomez Addams outfit. Awkward! Alfonso said, “I am in love with you,” and compared the number to an Academy Award winner.

Score: 25

Alek Skarlatos and Lindsay Arnold

“I’m definitely not a sexy guy," boy-next-door Alek said rather convincingly during the pre-show video. Then, nudged by Lindsay, he tried to flirt with the other pro dancers, rather unconvincingly. But then he killed it in that tango to the “True Blood” theme, ending the number with a bite on Lindsay’s neck, with fangs! Bruno found it “totally compelling,” and Carrie Ann said he has game now. Alfonso thought he danced “like a hero” and Julianne believed it was “perfection” and that Alek has best technique of anybody in the contest.

Score: 33

Bindi Irwin and Derek Hough

Bindi hurt her paw, and she was too stoic to complain. How much do we love her? As if it weren’t bad enough that she and Derek had to scrap their hoverboard routine to “The Jetsons” because the theme song didn’t clear, she had to perform on an injured foot. And she smiled all the while during that quickstep to “Movin’ on Up” from “The Jeffersons.” Loved the body roll, grrl! The judges weren’t too kind, nagging her about her posture and frame. Hey, who invited Len Goodman back to this party? Julianne said it “was not your best dance,” but Carrie Ann brushed off the mistakes, calling her “a solid competitor.”

Score: 32

Nick Carter and Sharna Burgess

Nick said that “DWTS” “challenges your soul,” and then he proceeded to swear liberally at himself during a grueling rehearsal, according to the video segment. None of the machinations came through during the silky smooth Viennese waltz to the “Downton Abbey” theme. Lady Mary and Matthew would be proud. Julianne declared it the “best dance of the night,” and Bruno said he saw the “dramatic arc” in the number. Alfonso thought it was “near perfect” and Carrie Ann said he went “from pop artist to classical virtuoso.”

Score: 36 (tied for the top)

Hayes Grier and Emma Slater

Hayes was a devoted fan of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” when he was growing up, you know, a couple of years ago. And he worked pretty hard to become a hero on a half shell in his jive to the cartoon theme. Turtle power! It wasn’t his best performance to date, Carrie Ann noted, and Alfonso thought he lost momentum midway through the number. Bruno still thought he had “star quality” but wanted pointed feet on the flicks and kicks.

Score: 30