The warm and cozy just doesn’t let up
Bombshell.
I’ve been here at my desk watching Headline News and I’ve discovered something shocking -- nay, stunning -- nay, outrageous -- about myself: I find Nancy Grace oddly soothing.
Sure, I could tune in another program and hear about jobs disappearing, banks collapsing and Congress bickering about it all. But that would be so confusing. So bleak.
Here in Graceland, the world is so much better. So much clearer. Grace tells us when really big things are happening by declaring, “Bombshell.” As in: “Bombshell. Grandfather George Anthony at a breaking point.”
Here in Graceland, we don’t like criminals and defense lawyers. We don’t like people who think criminals might not be criminals. Because they obviously are. And we especially love children and Grace’s beautiful twins (she talks about them all the time) and the way Grace is a much better mother than, say, Casey Anthony.
Anthony is the twentysomething mom accused of killing her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee, in Florida last summer. You would know that and how especially furious we all are about that if you had watched even one segment of Grace’s hour of outrage.
It turns out that I’m not the only one who has been drawn in, hypnotized even, by Grace’s fury and relentless pursuit of the obvious. Ratings for “Nancy Grace” jumped 42% last year over the prior year, to more than 1.3 million if you count the program’s repeat hour each evening (seen in Los Angeles at 5 and 7 p.m.). That leap helped Headline News to its highest-ever ratings, apparently cementing the cable outlet’s commitment to fare that is sensational, simplistic and, yes, oddly comforting.
Turner Broadcasting recently renamed the Headline News simply HLN. But it might as well have gone with CAN, as in Caylee Anthony Network, because HLN has been riding the toddler’s demise for hours each day.
If you’ve caught Grace in an earlier incarnation, say on Court TV, you’ll recognize the basic package: the helmet of platinum blond above angry eyebrows and eyes that narrow at the slightest hint of sympathy for the accused.
Don’t fret if you missed a moment of the tragedy of Caylee, who disappeared last summer before her remains were discovered not far from her grandparents’ Orlando-area home. Grace’s opening montage each night regurgitates the details of the discovery as if it happened yesterday -- the “beautiful 2-year-old Florida girl,” her little body “skeletonized” and “double-bagged like she’s trash.”
In Graceland, old is new, and Grace’s outrage over the killing seemingly expands by the day. So she trumpets stale and incremental developments and endlessly flogs grainy jailhouse clips of the petulant and self-obsessed suspect, Casey Anthony, who, for simplicity’s sake, has been renamed: Tot Mom.
Graphics flash and a bright red “Breaking News” crawls across the screen, as Grace “unleashes” panels of “experts” and lawyers.
“Unleash” is an apt description, as the witnesses use the merest scrap of information to speculate furiously about the culpability of not only the suspect, but of boyfriends, relatives, apparently anyone.
Grace’s magic formula has now spread through much of HLN’s programming. So when Jane Velez-Mitchell replaced Glenn Beck as the Grace lead-in in November, she quickly bested the conservative bloviator’s ratings.
How? By also focusing relentlessly on Caylee’s death.
Velez-Mitchell wrung her hands Thursday night about how someone had released details about Casey Anthony’s dad being placed on suicide watch, worrying he had failed as a husband and father.
Once a sober anchor at KCAL-9 here in L.A., Velez-Mitchell called those revelations “heartbreaking.”
“Who’s leaking it? Is that going to help him get better?” she demanded. “Of course not.” So this is why the news hostess, deeply concerned about the Tot Grandpa, tells a national television audience about his woes?
But never mind. As I said, there is a purity of thought and presentation here in Graceland that can make a viewer feel so warm, so cozy.
The women who call from around the country frequently coo to Grace about how adorable her twins are, before launching into venomous attacks on the day’s bad guy. Panelists cluck-cluck and furrow their brows.
This week, Jaime Salcedo emerged as the villain of the moment.
The businessman went on Grace’s program to announce his plan to sell a Caylee doll for $29.99. Press its belly and it sings “You Are My Sunshine,” just like the toddler did. Grace glowered and shook her head when Salcedo attempted to justify this shameless commerce.
She got especially peeved when the man who brought the world the Michael Vick chew toy (for your dog) didn’t seem too clear about which charity would supposedly benefit from the Caylee doll sales.
Throughout the day Tuesday, HLN’s hosts and guests savaged Salcedo’s doll as “gross” and “horrific.”
Shame, shame on Salcedo for trying to bust up our friendly party.
As his appearance ended, he had the audacity to suggest it was the hucksters on the other side of the camera who were exploiting victims like the Anthonys.
Said Salcedo: “I would say what [the media] are doing and how they circle around them is adding to their pain.”
Bombshell.
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On the Media appears Wednesdays and Sundays.
