Distracted customers drive station to distraction

David Boone of L.A. didn’t know quite what to make of a notice at a Santa Monica gas station warning that “drive offs” would be prosecuted (see photo).

He remembered when that phrase described someone who left without paying. But that was long ago, before gas station owners started making everyone, including their mothers, fork over the money in advance.

So Boone asked about the notice and was told that it referred to customers who leave with the hose still attached to their tank.

Local drivers are a problem, the attendant said.

Well, you know those Westsiders -- always in a hurry.

And now for a demonstration

Several years ago, Dan Sarokin of North Hollywood snapped a shot of a drive off (see photo).

The offending motorist shouldn’t feel bad, though. In the 2006 Indianapolis 500, driver Sam Hornish made the same mistake.

Get me to school on time

Anna Zaich of Irvine noted that her ticket to a UCLA graduation ceremony instructed students to start assembling 12 1/2 hours before the event (see accompanying). Didn’t know you could get any college kids to gather somewhere at 4:30 a.m.

Attention shoppers!

As for the sometimes-irritating supermarket baggers who ask if you need help carrying your groceries, Rick Rofman of Van Nuys says, “I tell them that since I don’t have a car they’d have to walk with me three blocks to the bus stop.” That diminishes the baggers’ enthusiasm.

Impact zone

At a market in Woodland Hills, my colleague Bob Pool spotted a visually impaired minivan that could serve as a warning for all Little and Pony League fans (see photo).

Modern-day nightmare

The other night, I dreamed that I was trying to give someone a Web address but couldn’t remember whether it contained an oblique slash -- and whether an oblique slash was a forward or backward slash.

Adventures in English

In Fiji, A.B. Moore was aboard a bus when he saw a highway sign that admonished the driver to “Make Like a Zipper.”

Said Moore: “Isn’t that a charming way to ask drivers to be courteous and merge in an every-other rotation? We could use some of that ‘make-like-a-zipper’ courtesy on I-5.”

miscelLAny

‘Tis the season? Rick Collins says that the ice cream truck in his Reseda neighborhood has lately been announcing its presence with such musical ditties as “Jingle Bells,” “Silent Night” and “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”

Not that the kids are complaining.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com