John McCain's veepstakes

John McCain must envy Barack Obama. The Illinois senator needs a running mate who does just three things: Appeal to centrists and moderates, bolster his foreign-policy weak spot and not turn off the base. Plenty of potential VPs can do that.

McCain, meanwhile, needs a running mate who can do roughly a dozen things: reassure skittish evangelicals, deliver a key state, shore up his weakness on economics, appeal to swing voters, attract women, be an acceptable conservative standard-bearer, add energy to the ticket, and on and on. ... Yet no potential veep can do all of these things, and only a few can do most of them. The advantage for McCain is that, as the stodgy underdog, he has to think big, while the perhaps too-exciting Obama seems sure to play it safe. To follow: a guide to the most-discussed candidates for the job. Discuss the veepstakes breakdown here.

	Appeals to	Alienates	Risk factor	Bottom line
Former Gov. Mitt Romney R-Massachusetts	Hugh Hewitt, the right-wing wonkosphere, Mormons, CEOs, McCain-wary Bush donors, millionaires with important hair	John McCain	Low. Though he could exponentially increase the "Hey, look at the dull white guys!" factor	Safest of the bold picks
Former Rep. Rob Portman R-Ohio. Director of the Office of Management and Budget, 2005-07	Indispensable Ohio voters, free traders, conservative establishment, C-SPAN junkies	Protectionists	Low in terms of skeletons or gaffes; high on the may-bore-voters-into-a-stupor scale	The responsible choice if McCain was ahead by 20 points, but probably really can't deliver Ohio
Sen. Joe Lieberman I-Connecticut	Independents, hawks, swing Dems, Jews, Israel supporters, neocons	Left-wing bloggers, Republicans who'd like at least one GOP loyalist on the ticket	High: For every swing voter he lures, two conservatives might be turned off	Better to save him for secretary of Defense or State
Gov. Charlie Crist R-Florida	Valuable Florida voters, non-ideological Republicans, Greek Americans	People who still don't understand why he's on the shortlist, fans of natural tanning	Medium-High: Too many potential surprises from the just-got-engaged governor	McCain's been doing OK in Florida, so why bother?
Former Gov. Mike Huckabee R-Arkansas	Pro-government evangelicals, pro-lifers, Southerners, working-class populists	Economic conservatives, the conservative establishment, and me personally	High: Would suck up McCain's oxygen while promising to raise taxes on people who don't laugh at his jokes	GOP doesn't need a Lonesome Rhodes character as its heir-apparent
Gov. Haley Barbour R-Mississippi	Conservative establishment, K Street, Southerners, NASCAR dads	Moderates, centrists, Southernphobes	Medium: Former K Street warlord would undermine McCain's reformer appeal	A one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest stands a better chance
Gov. Bobby Jindal R-Louisiana	Conservative wonks, Indian Americans, media, nearly everyone else	Whippersnapper-phobes	Low: Great reform credentials and identity politics oomph. Little foreign policy experience	Great for the GOP. Still, could look like McCain's intern
Gov. Sarah Palin R-Alaska	Women, pro-lifers, visually unimpaired heterosexual men, pro-Hillary swing voters	Alaska's kleptocracy	Medium: Provincial political experience and no foreign policy; putting her young kids through the wringer may not fly	Savvy former beauty queen from the most outsider state has a great story and solid pro-life credentials; could be a home run
Carly Fiorina McCain advisor, former Hewlett-Packard chief	Women, media, Chamber of Commerce crowd	Conservatives who think a record of conservatism is really important	High: Smooth talker, too smooth; never say "Viagra" in connection with oldest candidate ever	If McCain goes for a woman, she seems to be his favorite
Sen. Tom Coburn R-Oklahoma	Barack Obama, social conservatives, GOP rank and file	Independents, moderates, swing Democrats	Medium: Delivers no states; makes Bob Portman seem sexy	Would rev up the base and bolster McCain's pork-buster rep
Sen. John Thune R-South Dakota	Republicans who loved seeing him take out Majority Leader Tom Daschle in 2004	Anyone who didn't	Low: Attractive, relatively safe	Earmarking junior senator doesn't help the McCain narrative
Rep. Marsha Blackburn R-Tennessee	Everyone who says, "If only Tom Coburn was female"	Liberals who think conservative women are traitors	Low: She'd please the base while putting the gender card in play	The safest of the female picks
Former Gov. Jeb Bush R- Florida	Bush loyalists, Floridians, Latinos, GOP establishment, wonks, many conservatives	Those inclined to self-immolate at the prospect of hearing the name "Bush" for 4 to 16 more years	Stratospheric: Best governor of either party in 20 years, with reform cred and Latino crossover appeal, but ...	... Would-be self-immolators outnumber Bush loyalists by 5 to 1
Gov. Tim Pawlenty R-Minnesota	John McCain, moderates, reformers, wonks, Minnesota-based conservative bloggers	The many who think conservative reform is a Trojan horse for "me-too Republicanism"	Medium: Popular, hockey-playing coiner of the buzzphrase "Sam's Club Republican" couldn't deliver own state	Most plausible of the reformer veeps
Tom Ridge Former Pennsylvania governor and secretary of Homeland Security	Tom Ridge, Pennsylvanians, pro-choice Republicans, pro-nuclear-freeze Republicans, fans of color-coded terror	Conservatives who have looked at his post-Vietnam War record	High: The only argument anyone makes is that he could carry Pennsylvania	If he can't deliver the Keystone State, "Sexier than Arlen Specter" won't wow the base

Jonah Goldberg, a weekly Op-Ed columnist and editor at large for National Review Online, is the author of "Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning."