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The death of black-tie

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What ever happened to getting dressed up? And how did acid-washed denim become appropriate cocktail attire? I am disgusted with the sloppy state of affairs. Last Sunday night, I attended MOCA’s Gala honoring artist Takashi Murakami and designer Marc Jacobs. It was bad enough that MOCA didn’t have the chutzpah to call for black-tie. (The attire: cocktail -- whatever that means.)

Even worse, I saw dudes wearing jeans and T-shirts. I shaved my damn legs and bought an Isabel Toledo dress for the occasion, damn it! Even put some hot rollers in my hair, thank you very much.

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Two weeks ago, at the Hammer Gala in the Garden for Miuccia Prada and Mike Kelley, it was the same deal. Cocktail attire was the requirement and so, some folks got turned out and others turned up in wrinkled Dockers and again, jeans. Has everyone gone crackers when it comes to dress codes? Yes, I like to wear my jeans and drink cocktails. Hell, I even like cocktails in the raw.

But cocktail attire does not mean pull whatever is atop the hamper heap and then order a highball. Men should wear button-down shirts with blazers; ladies can get away with a little black dress or blouse (yes, I said blouse and I mean a top that needs to be dry cleaned) and slacks.

Personally, I would love to see a return to the tux. Show me a guy in a dinner jacket and I might even do a jig. At the opening night of the Los Angeles Opera, I spotted a man in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. This moron looked like he had wandered off drunk from one of those Sandals resorts. He had that florid complexion that comes with a dozen mai-tais and a pound of bar nuts. I was tempted to ask him where the luau was, but my husband told me to wash down my ire with some Champagne.

All that to say: If you’re going to a gala, make some effort to look gallant. Wash behind your ears. Get acquainted with a cuff link or two. Maybe even run a comb through your hair and shave.

Photo credits: Jack Nicholson, Getty Images; Rat Pack, popartuk.com; Tatum O’Neal, Getty Images.

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