Guy Critical tells all

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The book, Guy Critical, is a modern day romantic romp that’s reminiscent of a 1930s slapstick comedy. Think Myrna Loy and William Powell in ‘The Thin Man’ as a married couple who swill martinis and bicker and hiccup and make up. Author Matthew Milner (right), abandoned Wall Street to write the novel and create a website called Answerology.com that brings men and women together. He weighs in here on the not so subtle nuances between he and she:

How does Answerology.com work?

‘Think of it as ‘Dear Abby’ for the Facebook generation. Basically, a woman would type in her question, then tell us what kind of guy she wanted answers from -- for example, 35 year-old Catholic jocks from Los Angeles. We’d e-mail her question to everyday guys from our community who fit the right profile, and she’d get 5 or 6 different responses. Once she connected with a relevant guy, she could continue the conversation on our site privately.

Soon after we launched the site, hundreds of guys a day started e-mailing our customer service department, asking why they couldn’t ask questions, too. So if you go to the site today, anyone can ask questions, whether it’s about their romantic relationship, or their relationship with friends, family, and colleagues. It’s all about getting better at the game of life through shared experience.’

What do women ask about most?

‘Almost 10 million Q&A’s have been posted so far, so at this point, we’ve probably seen everything under the sun. But I’d say women’s most frequent questions are about trying to read the tea leaves of a relationship and looking for signs of cheating. For example, ‘I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 months and I just found out he still has his profile up on a dating site. What does that mean?’ Another popular topic is about emotional/sexual balance -- i.e., ‘What can I do if I love my husband but don’t want to fool around with him anymore?’’

And men care most about...?

‘Men’s most frequent questions reveal how difficult it is for them -- despite what women think, and despite what men think about each other -- to make the first move, especially in what I call ‘high-risk environments.’ For example, they’ll ask, ‘I think I’m in love with my colleague. How do I figure out if she likes me, too, and how do I ask her out without looking like a total jerk?’’

You left a career on Wall Street to write a romantic road trip novel and launch the site. How is playing the market like dating?

‘Well, when it comes to their wallets, people are risk-averse. On Wall Street, I helped our clients reduce risk from their portfolios so they could protect their wealth. I did it by building cool financial instruments that zigged when something else zagged. But people are risk-averse when it comes to love, too. In fact, most of us instinctually try to reduce love risk: in junior high, we’d ask our friends to find out if our crush liked us. Nowadays, we might pretend we don’t care about someone, or we’ll avoid declaring our love so we don’t risk rejection.’

Name a surprising male vulnerability that you discovered through responses and forums on Answerology.com.

‘With Answerology’s cloak of anonymity, guys can really open up. In their 20s, guys are putting their cards on the table by asking questions like: ‘Am I tall enough or big enough for women to find me attractive; am I good enough in bed?’ With guys in their 30s, on the other hand, we are seeing their vulnerability about providing a comfortable home-life for their wife and family, or coming to terms with a working wife who might be wearing the pants in the family.’

What brings men and women together fastest?

‘Whether you’re just starting a new relationship, or you’re in one and having a hard time, allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a great way to build a bridge. Revealing who you truly are and being loved for it... that’s the holy grail of a great relationship. Of course, having a sense of humor doesn’t hurt either.’

Give us a tidbit of guy talk that will help us understand the male psyche.

‘If you’re trying to understand a guy, pay attention to what he does, not what he says. And be aware of the moments that he’s acting a certain way just because he thinks that’s how guys are supposed to act.’

photo credits: Guy Critical, Amazon; The Thin Man, Warner Bros.; Moonlighting still, ABC; Kate Moss, Getty Images; The Graduate, MGM; Raisin in the Sun, Columbia TriStar; Horses, quarterhorse.com.