Tila Tequila headline quest expands to hint at miscarriage, until ‘confirmed’ Russian adoption soothes her pain
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How would you guys feel if something HORRIBLE happened to you & the ENTIRE WORLD got to see u go through all that PRIVATE MOMENTS???
-- Tila Tequila on Twitter, in the middle of more than 20 posts about how she’s in pain and worried about losing the baby she says she’s carrying
Looks like Tila Tequila took one of the Ministry’s recent headlines a little too seriously.
Scarred by a recent hospital visit and mistrustful of EMTs, who are in it only to call the paparazzi for attention and care nothing about her health, our heroine Ms. Tequila has been tweeting like mad this morning while waiting for her no-paparazzi-allowed personal doctor’s office to open at 9 a.m., taking a few moments to explain, among other things, how she told friends she’d kill herself if anything happened to the baby.
And oh yeah, she’s had this premonition that she’s going to die before she’s 30.
We agree with the Hollywood Gossip that none of these topics are laughing matters, except when it comes to Tila Tequila.
Cut to ... Tila Tequila right around 9 a.m., when she’s supposed to be going to her doctor:
Tila Tequila has been approved to adopt a baby boy 2-3 years old from RUSSIA & will have him by this year!! -Retweet!IM SO BLESSED! IN SECRET, I’VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS ADOPTION FOR A LONG TIME!! WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH OR 2 I CAN VISIT MY BABY BOY IN RUSSIA!THIS IS 100% CONFIRMED!!!!! I’M GOING TO ADOPT A BABY BOY ABOUT 2 YEARS OLD FROM RUSSIA AND IM GOING TO BE HIS MOMMY! SO HAPPY!!! AHHH IM SO HAPPY I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN IN WORDS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW! THEN I WILL SPEND A MONTH IN RUSSIA WITH MY NEW SON 2 BOND WITH HIM!
Wonder how her baby daddy feels about all this.
Wonder how her agent feels about this.
Wonder how her stalker feels about this.
Wonder how her publicist feels about this. Oh, wait, yeah, she doesn’t have one of those, either.
In closing, to all you haters, Tila would like to remind you (again, instead of going to the doctor):
As 4 those ppl calling me a [bad person]! Shut ur mouth! I am saving a little baby boy who is an orphan & is sick! Im saving his life! so shut up!
Heavens! It’s so unfair -- even Angelina Jolie doesn’t have to put up with this relentless abuse. But we guess she’s not quite as famous as Tila is, so that makes sense.
-- Christie D’Zurilla
P.S. Yes, we know we gave her another headline. Sorry, the sound of the train wreck woke us up.
Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip: