PREACH IT! There’s a Team Jesse? And there are people on it besides Jesse?
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It didn’t seem possible only a few days ago, but there it is. People -- real live human beings with brainstems and higher functions -- are coming out in support of Jesse James.
One of those people is is Jesse James, yes, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
First, the other people, starting with comedian Russell Brand. At last night’s Victoria’s Secret swim party, Brand was asked what he thought of James and that other pillar of fidelity, Tiger Woods.
“I like them!” he told E! Online. “They seem like nice guys.”
Yes, this is the same Russell Brand who is engaged to Katy Perry and thinks he can stay that way while saying nice stuff about Jesse James.
Anyway. We move on.
James’ employees are also being trotted out, or -- wait, did I just write that? Silly, cynical me. Let’s try that again. James’ employees are coming out, totally on their own without any prodding, to support their boss.
‘Jesse is like family,’ one employee tells People. ‘He’s just a righteous guy. If I have a personal problem, he’ll sit and talk to me. Not once have I felt uncomfortable with him ... He’s just a sweet guy. Hearing all this stuff about him is just sad. I don’t believe any of it.’
(Maybe this isn’t a good time to bring up the fact...
... that James has faced accusations of sexual harassment in the workplace. Or maybe it is a good time. Either way, there was a harassment allegation; it has since been dismissed. Not to be confused with the harassment allegation that led to a reported settlement.) Finally, we get to James himself. He is outraged, outraged, that his mistresses (who, at this hour, total four) are leaking details of their liaisons. Take photographer Brigitte Daguerre, who has alleged only a brief affair but quite a number of text messages. Another mistress, Melissa Smith, also shared James’ alleged texts with the planet, triggering the wrath of the Vanilla Gorilla. Smith reportedly got another text from James just this week with this scolding message: ‘I’m angry at you and disappointed you’d do this.’
That’s right. Jesse James. Scolding his mistresses. For having sex with him and then talking about it. The mind, it’s boggled.
But for members of Team Jesse, I guess it’s expected of their dear leader.
-- Leslie Gornstein
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