Charlie Sheen said what? ‘Two and a Half Men’ star keeps digging


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Charlie Sheen got the plug pulled on ‘Two and a Half Men’ on Thursday for the rest of the season, after a free-wheeling radio interview on ‘The Alex Jones Show’ and follow-up communication to various websites in which he called show creator Chuck Lorre and his gang ‘maggots’ and ‘little turds,’ among other choice names.

‘I’m dealing with fools and trolls, I’m dealing with soft targets ... ,’ Sheen told Jones from the Bahamas on Thursday. ‘I don’t have time for these clowns and their judgment and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it.’ Well, no, and you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show.’

He kept digging — or at least texting, Show Tracker reports — on Friday, alerting ‘Good Morning America’ of his intent to show up for work Tuesday as he’d planned, show or no show.


That after he’d told Radar Online on Thursday that he had a deal with HBO for a new show that would pay him $5 million per episode and include ‘all types of guests, and we will focus on the truth and the absurd!’ (HBO disagreed.)

Speaking of absurd: ‘I am battle-tested bayonets,’ Sheen told Jones, ‘and I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ at every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin’, delivering the goods every second.’

After being accused of anti-Semitism for referring to Lorre as ‘Chaim Levine,’ the Hebrew translation of the show runner’s birth name, Charles Levine, the actor told TMZ he was simply trying to ‘address the man,’ not the TV persona.

‘So you’re telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino?’ he asked TMZ. (Interestingly enough, this blog fielded more than a few comments accusing us of being racist when we, like law enforcement, referred to Sheen by the legal name Carlos Irwin Estevez in posts about his December 2009 arrest over an altercation with wife Brooke Mueller.)

Some of Sheen’s specific comments regarding Lorre?

‘It’s nothing this side of depolorable that a certain Chaim Levine — yeah, that’s Chuck’s real name — mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy ... I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. OK ... Chaim, I’ve spent I think close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you’ve been warned, dude. Bring it.’ As has been said before regarding more vulgar feedback from Sheen, ‘Touchy, touchy.’

Lorre, in one of his signature vanity cards at the end of ‘Two and a Half Men,’ sent Charlie a sort of Valentine at the end of the Feb. 14 episode. In it, he compared his own lifestyle to that of his star, ending with, ‘If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.’

Sheen, who earlier in the day had expressed his hatred for Lorre to TMZ and asked the website to pass on the message ‘I own him,’ seemed a bit ticked off himself after hearing ‘Men’ was done for the season.


He sent out an open letter that read, in part, ‘I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows ... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth.’ (On Jones’ show, Sheen had mentioned he thought he was all the characters in ‘Apocalypse Now’; we’d like to note that ‘You can’t handle the truth’ is actually from ‘A Few Good Men.’)

So! Moving on. In its ‘Two and a Half Men’ announcement Thursday, CBS and Warner Bros. TV said their decision was made ‘based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition.’

We can only assume that in addition to the verbal assault Thursday, they meant conduct going back awhile, up to and including his flight to the Bahamas with two ‘goddesses’ (porn star Bree Olsen and nanny Natalie Kenly) and maybe-not-so-estranged-wife Mueller. Brooke’s mom told People on Thursday that her daughter and the twins had moved back in with Sheen temporarily — Radar said she’d been there since Saturday — until they could move into a home the actor was buying for them a few doors down from his own.

Mueller, however, left the group in the Bahamas only a day into what Sheen called the foursome’s ‘marriage of the heart.’

‘Where there were four, there are now three,’ he told Jones. ‘Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels — you’re going to need it. Badly.’ So yeah, maybe Sheen’s people will succeed in talking him out of going into escrow on the $6.75-million pad?

Alex Jones, who runs the Infowars and Prison Planet websites, is, like Sheen, a 9/11 ‘truther.’ The two partnered in late 2009 on a contest pitched thusly: ‘Lights! Camera! Action! Film you and your friends re-enacting Charlie Sheen’s explosive open letter to the President and submit for your chance to win $14K, and other great prizes!’ The open letter ostensibly chronicled a sit-down Sheen (never) had with Barack Obama, asking the president to further investigate the 9/11 terrorist attacks as an inside job.

That said, here’s the Ministry’s favorite tidbit from Sheen’s Jones interview: ‘If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there’s nothing that can be questioned.’


Listen to Sheen’s ‘Alex Jones Show’ interview here. Just be warned:’I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips and I’m, y’ know, most of the time — and this includes naps — I am an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.’

Thus broadcast Charlie Sheen, son of Martin Sheen, who on Thursday in London told photographers that Charlie was ‘doing fine’ but that fans should nevertheless ‘lift him up, pray for him.’


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— Christie D’Zurilla

Photos, from top: Charlie Sheen leaves a Colorado courthouse on Aug. 2; Chuck Lorre, lower left, arrives at the Golden Globe Awards on Jan. 16. Credits: Rick Giase / EPA, top right; Matt Sayles / Associated Press, left.