Ask Alana: Answers to your holiday etiquette questions
This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.
The holidays can drum up much fear, frustration and loathing among even the most polite and well-mannered. So many questions arise: How much should you spend on gifts? Is it appropriate to give gift cards? Is this finally the year to throw that giddy Tickle Me Elmo out the window?
Alana Semuels here at To Live and Buy in L.A., along with local experts, will answer your pressing questions. She is trained in the art of folding napkins, writing thank-you notes and balancing books upon her head. So ask away.
In the first week’s installment: tipping doormen (and women) and gifts from the cash-strapped.
Hey Alana:
If I live in a building with a doorman, how much should I tip him for Christmas? If my doorman is a doorlady, should I just give her 70% of that?
-- Johanna Spellman, Chicago
Dear Johanna:
I have never seen a doorlady, so I am not sure if you will ever have to face this quandary. But then again I live in Los Angeles, where we open our own doors but don’t park our own cars. However, it is my belief that tipping doormen and doorwomen equally would be the final step in gender equality. Then, someday, we women might even be able to stop baking apple pies and wearing hoop skirts and get real jobs!
As for how much to tip, advice guru Daryl Trainor Twerdahl, founder of the Los Angeles School of Etiquette and Protocol, says the standard is about $50 to $100. However, if you have a lot of money (and who doesn’t these days?), throw in a little bit extra. After all, your doorperson probably knows how much you make, depending on whether you walk past him/her with bags from Neiman Marcus or the 99 Cents Only store.
Or maybe, Johanna, you are one of the many Chicago residents who just got laid off. Some people might advise baking your doorman a plate of cookies rather than giving cold hard cash, but Twerdahl says you still need to tip your doorman, because doorpeople are the type of people most hurt by the economic downturn.
I’d recommend moving out of a building with a doorperson.
--Alana
Alana:
If my boyfriend made me move to L.A. and thus my ticket home for Christmas costs $600, do I still need to buy anyone Christmas presents?
--Emily Dill, Los Angeles
Dear Emily:
Your boyfriend made you move to L.A.? You definitely need to get him a present. If it were not for him, you would likely be shivering in some hovel on the East Coast, trying to remember what the sun looks like and marveling that your feet can get so cold and still not fall off. Besides, soon you will get a starring role in a Hollywood movie and have lots of money for Christmas presents. That’s what happens to everyone who moves here.
Anyway, advice columnist Amy Alkon, who writes the weekly column Ask the Advice Goddess, says: ‘This year, everyone is downsizing on gifts. Even the richest people.’ She recommends going to garage sales and buying presents on EBay and also explaining to your family and friends that your plane ticket cost $600 so you’re a bit short on cash. If you start shopping now, she says, maybe you can even get some early-bird bargains.
Or maybe you can learn to knit and give wool sweaters to family members at home, who are surely very cold right now. Along with a signed headshot, for the day you become a movie star.
-- Alana
Have questions? E-mail askalana@latimes.com