Medals Per Capita blip: Netherlands Antilles

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Medals Per Capita today makes the glaring confession of having overlooked the Netherlands Antilles, a blunder you’d presume unthinkable.

After all, the Netherlands Antilles should be a veritable Medals Per Capita daydream, sitting down there in the Caribbean, part of the unfairly titled Lesser Antilles — and just who said they’re lesser?! — and with a tactically proficient population of only 225,369.

But no, Medals Per Capita headquarters had become so obsessed with The Defending Champion Bahamas that it felt ransacked Wednesday when Netherlands Antilles up and made MPC history.

It became the first known nation to reach No. 1 and fall completely off the board in the same day.

While people with, you know, a life, watched with awe as Jamaica’s Usain Bolt broke the world record in the 200 meters, Medals Per Capita took note of the trailing silver medalist, Churandy Martina. His medal gave the Netherlands Antilles a rating of one medal per every 225,369 citizens, an abrupt Olympic revolution that rocketed Netherlands Antilles above all others to rule the earth.

The entire world looked up at Antilles so allegedly lesser, and not only that, but the government of the Netherlands Antilles plans to disband at some as-yet unspecified date, dividing into various new nations. It would hold this title forever unchallenged.

Glory be.

Just then, though, picky track and field officials stepped in. They noted that Martina stepped out of his lane during the race, blah blah blah, if we must dwell on such minutiae. They disqualified both Martina and the apparent bronze medalist, American Wallace Spearmon.

And Netherlands Antilles’ day on the throne unfortunately became memorable only to connoisseurs of MPC trivia. But remember we shall.

I mean, I shall.

Medals Per Capita minutiae from Wednesday:

-- There’s quite the donnybrook at the top, also resulting from that men’s 200 meters. Bolt’s latest bolt lifted Jamaica to seven medals total and eked out a lead over Slovenia, arranging a fur-flying four-day finish, with the Bahamas still to have a say. All these days and all this sweat in Beijing, and the margin is only 924. The Jamaicans finished sixth in MPC in Athens and clearly aimed to improve upon even that glittering showing.

-- Look out for Cuba, which tends to flourish late given excellence in matters like boxing and baseball, and which has turned up alongside the persistently excellent Belarus with 13 medals, and just behind No. 8 Belarus in MPC.

-- Afghanistan has a population of 32 million, not conducive to MPC championships, but the very idea that taekwondo maestro Rohullah Nikpai could win the nation’s first medal, while hailing from a violence-ravaged area of a war-ravaged country, makes even the noble, cold long division of MPC seem insufficient. This medal deserves its own category, in which it ranks No. 1. Or higher.

The top 10:

1. Jamaica (7) - 400,618
2. Slovenia (5) - 401,542
3. New Zealand (9) - 463,717
4. Australia (36) - 572,246
5. Armenia (5) - 593,717
6. Estonia (2) - 653,802
7. Bahrain (1) - 718,306
8. Belarus (13) - 745,059
9. Cuba (13) - 878,765
10. Denmark (6) - 914,120

Selected Others:

11. Norway (5) - 928,891
13. Georgia (4) - 1,157,710
22. Britain (37) - 1,647,132
41. Greece (3) - 3,574,272
42. United States (82) - 3,705,178
50. Japan (23) - 5,534,279
53. Israel (1) - 7,112,359
70. Afghanistan (1) - 32,738,376
75. Mexico (2) - 54,977,700
79. India (2) - 573,997,949

--Chuck Culpepper

Culpepper is a contributor to The Times.