Opinion: Commies on Broadway!

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A pretty forlorn spectacle greeted this viewer at today’s thinly attended immigration march: that of the local Communist party trying to put the Mayday back in the May Day parade. When you’re dead certain that the workers of the world are just a leaflet away from joining up with your Internationale, it’s gotta be frustrating to see so many international workers parading down the street proudly waving Old Glory. Unwilling to let the workers alienate themselves from the means of obstruction, a group of local commies in distinctive red tshirts began positioning themselves to block the end of the march at First Street, but were unable to field enough manpower to block the entire street, only managing to barricade the westbound-traffic lane. A collective of marchers holding a giant-parachute American flag easily slipped past the Reds’ picket line—and by God the flag never touched the ground. Take that, Commies!

I’m still not sure whether the communists were there in support of the main march or in opposition, because shortly afterward a communist with a bullhorn started denouncing the pigs for claiming fewer than 25,000 people had attended. The speaker, apparently using the same math Mao relied on for his crop reports, put the figure closer to two million. My own guess, based on observations from the roof and an observation deck at the Times building as well as pressing the flesh on Broadway and on First, was that even the 25,000 figure seemed too high. If the Marxists want to get the numbers back up next year there’s a simple solution: Sell more churros and bacon-covered hot dogs, because the business of America is business.