Opinion: Seagal vs. Chan
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Hey would-be Beijing protestors, watch out for Jackie Chan. The Hong Kong action hero isn’t putting up with any lip, as Chicago Sun-Times columnist Bill Zwecker reports:
Chan told me he’s also going to be part of the torch relay once it nears Beijing. Demonstrating one of his famous kung fu moves with his hands, he quipped, ‘Demonstrators better not get anywhere close to me’ -- a clear challenge to those who might want to disrupt his and the torch’s progress.
How would Chan hold up in a head-to-head with a certain celebrity Tibet champion? No, not Steven Spielberg, but Steven Seagal. The two martial artists are friends, or at least so says IMDB, but to settle this subject, they might have to take it outside. Who’d win?
| Jackie Chan | Steven Seagal | Winner? | |
| Best move | Glass-shattering, bus-top-running fight scenes in the ‘Police Story’ movies | Became the first foreigner to open an aikido dojo in Japan | Chan |
| Worst move | According to him, it’s the ‘Rush Hour’ movies | ‘On Deadly Ground’ | Chan, who’s worst is better than Seagal’s best |
| Gear | Bad haircuts, vaguely Oriental outfits | Bad haircuts, vaguely Oriental outfits | Tied |
| Training | Worked as a stuntman on Bruce Lee flicks after years of martial arts and acrobatics training | Achieved the status of 7th-dan black belt and used to be a bodyguard | Chan, for action hero cred |
| Endurance | Shot thousands of retakes for one scene in ‘Dragon Lord’ | Has made over a dozen straight-to-video movies | Seagal, for trudging along |
| Good karma | UNICEF goodwill ambassadorship | Declared a reincarnated tulku | Seagal, because the title isn’t shared by Ricky Martin |
| Bad karma | Having an affair and an out-of-wedlock child | Blaming his failed acting career on the FBI | Chan, for not making delusional claims |
| Secret power | The Jackie Chan Stunt Team | Magic dogs and Lightning Bolts | Chan, unless the team only attacks one by one |
The winner: Jackie. Now enjoy some of his best fights.