Opinion: Raise that Sinister Hand in Triumph!

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Ladies and gentlemen, southpaws and you lesser folk, the next president of the United States is ... left-handed.

I could have said that before November 4 too. Both Barack Obama and John McCain are lefties.

This continues a rather hefty tradition of left-handers, disproportionate to their numbers in the general population, who have ascended to the Oval Office.

Those of us who are left-handed believe in our own superiority, of course. And we are encouraged in our notions by the fact that, while left-handers constitute only about 10% of the general population, five of the last seven presidents have been left-handed. (Ford, Reagan, Bush 41, Clinton, and Obama, thanks for asking.)

Two are Democrats and three are Republicans, which should put paid to the Simon and Garfunkel song’s whimsical ruminations about politics and handedness: ‘I’ve been Ayn Randed, nearly branded/Communist ‘cause I’m left-handed/That’s the hand I use, well, never mind.’’

At this rate, the word ‘’sinister’’ -- rooted in the Latin for ‘’left’’ and found in other languages and cultures as a synonym for evil, suspect, foul, clumsy and worse -- may finally be separated from handedness itself. ‘Left’’ will enjoy a triumphant revival; the vast world of right-handed bias, found in everything from school desks and scissors to can openers and refrigerators, may be toppled at last; and the world will realize that, literally, only left-handers are in their right minds!