‘John From Cincinnati’: Wait, where’s Naomi Watts?

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In the closing minutes of last week’s episode, John told Cass that Shaun would soon be gone. Gone how? Dead gone? Gone surfing? Gone fishing? Gone to Sea World with his porny mom to escape the rest of his whack-job family? Because, at least in the short term, that’s where Shaun has gone off to.

In Sunday’s episode, however, John manages to spread the word of his premonition about Shaun -- and causes panic in the process. In something straight out of 2002’s ‘The Ring,’ John creates an Internet video that gets pushed to the websites and the dreams of Clan Yost and their hangers-on. The video is a loop of John sitting in front of a black sheet with a half-drawn stick figure chalked on it in white. John repeats over and over that Shaun will soon be gone. And that’s it. (Instead of the video causing death, of course, it makes viewers wish they were dead, I guess.)

When Butchie finally confronts John about the video, all John says is, ‘We don’t remember our father’s words,’ over and over again. Father who? Big guy upstairs Father with a capital F? Or long-missing but little-missed daddy Mitch Yost, who has apparently levitated into the ozone, never to be heard from again, and causing Cissy to start divorce proceedings?

After Butchie fails to get any clarification, Bill takes a crack at deciphering John, who remains as obtuse as ever. (Bill does try to slap some sense into him, which is partly gratifying, at least.) Suddenly, reenacting his attack on the border, John takes out a knife and stabs himself, then heals himself immediately, much to Bill’s astonishment. Hey, guess what? He’s not from Cincinnati. It took them, what, only eight weeks to figure it out?

-- Ann Donahue