Destination ‘So You Think You Can Dance’: A family torn apart

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I feel funny tonight, friends. I usually rush home after watching ‘So You Think You Can Dance,’ eager to dish the best and worst moments of the evening. Tonight, however, I’m not even in the mood to mock the warm-up guy. And for me, that’s really saying something.

All season, we watched the camaraderie between the dancers build, and by Top 6 week, the contestants actually seemed inseparable. Cheesy as it sounds, they seemed like family. Thus, no matter who left tonight, it was going to break up a family.

Next week will be even more painful, when from the broken family that remains, a winner must be chosen. Am I really expected to watch Joshua Allen beat out his lady love, Katee Shean, for the crown? How sad would that be? (And what do you mean, they’re not really in love?)

Still, despite the gray cloud looming over the ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ studio tonight, funny, strange, and sunny moments managed to break through the darkness. Here they are.

No gum, no cellphones, no Will Wingfield memorabilia

Before the show began, a stern usher trolled through my section, checking posters. Apparently, there was an inappropriate sign in the vicinity. Finally, the usher located -– and confiscated -– the offender. It read, ‘Bring back Will.’

Nigel Lythgoe scopes out the scene

After mounting the judges’ platform tonight, ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ titan Nigel Lythgoe took a moment to survey the room. ‘The pretty ones are down here,’ he announced. Then, Nigel corrected himself, adding, ‘There’s a few ugly ones. I won’t tell you who you are. I’m sure you know.’

America’s favorite dancer: ‘Joshua’s Dad’

Before tonight’s show began, the warm-up guy recruited a mother and a father from the audience to compete in a dance battle. The results were epic. A Girl Scout troop leader from Illinois challenged celebrity papa ‘Joshua’s Dad.’ After just a few bars, it was clear where Joshua Allen got his moves. From his mother.

Just joshin’, ‘Joshua’s Dad!’

In the nick of time

Uberhost Cat Deeley rushed out to her post with just two minutes to spare tonight. Chewing gum and breathless, Cat ran through her lines on the TelePrompTer while her hair and makeup crew sprinkled her with fairy dust.

Words of wisdom?

Is it just me, or was there something unsettling about Adam Shankman’s advice to the Top 6 dancers? He told them that they were ‘famous’ now, and that they had many fans. So ‘be kind to them,’ Adam advised. As opposed to what?

A sense of peace

For the first time, tonight, every single dancer on the ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ stage looked emotionally prepared to go home. Courtney Galiano gazed out at the audience with a Buddha-like half-smile. Twitch surveyed the crowd longingly, as though already nostalgic for the moment he was in.

Just wondering…

Did anybody let out a big ol’ ‘awww’ at home when they saw that Joshua Allen had gotten his braces off?

Here’s the greatest thing about Chelsie Hightower:

No, it’s not those legs we keep hearing so much about. It’s the fact that this girl has no filter whatsoever. After Chelsie’s solo, Cat Deeley said it must be tough for the trained partner dancer to perform alone. ‘It sucks,’ Chelsie blurted out in response. ‘It’s fun, though, I mean,’ she corrected. ‘It’s fun.’

DJ Twitch

Twitch Boss really does have a knack for picking awesome music for his solos. Wednesday, it was ‘Midas Touch’ and tonight, ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy.’ Here’s betting that Bobby McFerrin downloads skyrocket tomorrow.

‘Mom, ya good?’

Courtney Galiano seemed more concerned with her mother’s well-being than her own. ‘Mom, ya good?’ she inquired during the commercial break before her final verdict.

3-real

When the Top 3 men took the stage, the way they reacted to one another’s videos was very telling. Joshua Allen burst out laughing during the video playback of Twitch’s ‘Midas Touch’ solo, and Twitch was equally enraptured by a playback of Joshua’s finest moments. They really are all rooting for each other.

The happy dance

Oh, Joshua! Will you never learn? Once again tonight, when Joshua Allen discovered his safety, he responded the only way he knows how: with an explosive happy dance.

But you know what? It’s growing on me. Maybe it’s not what Twitch and Mark wanted to see, but it’s hard not to love a man so elated that he’s bursting at the seams.

Questionable crotch thrust

The fans in the mosh pit don’t mind a bit of naughtiness from time to time, so long as it’s doled out in carefully measured doses. For instance, Courtney Galiano getting spanked in one of her numbers? Good. Will Wingfield taking off his shirt? Very good. Lady GaGa thrusting her crotch in their faces? Less good. OK, very scary.

Final thought

In the end, the eliminations felt pretty arbitrary. With each contestant raking in a million votes, nobody could really be called a loser tonight. Plus, how can you compare Chelsie Hightower’s overt sexiness to Katee Shean’s subtle yearning? How can you compare Mark Kanemura’s Willy Wonka aesthetic to Joshua Allen’s classic masculinity? The Top 6 were apples and oranges. But they were damn good apples and damn good oranges. Whatever happens from here on out, all six were tops in my book. Forgive the uncharacteristic lack of snark, dear readers. I just hate to see a family torn apart.

Till next week, when everything we’ve all been waiting for is finally revealed!

-- Stephanie Lysaght