‘Entourage’: Friends with benefits

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First of all, let me give a shout-out to the ‘Entourage’ folks for their four Emmy nods (one for best comedy), and particularly to Kevin Dillon for his third year of being nominated for supporting actor in a comedy. As the woefully overlooked and underappreciated older half-brother to Vincent Chase, Drama may not have a lot of lines, but whether he’s christening E’s new toilet or effectively creeping out a random sales girl, he sure does make an indelible impression.

So it’s premiere night of Martin Scorsese’s “Gatsby” and the boys are all aflutter as to whom they’re going to take to the event. Turtle’s got Jamie-Lynn Sigler (it’s their coming-out party). Vince is going with that one girl from the other night (you know, that one). And E, freshly moved into his new digs, is faced with a conundrum: Take Sloan as “just friends” or tote along that little minx of an Ashley (played by Alexis Dziena), who is all over E like white on rice and will go through awkward hell and high water to prove it. She also looks all of 12 years old. (Drama then realizes he’s the seventh wheel and asks freaky-deaky Kelly from the clothing store whether she’ll be his designated arm candy for the evening.)

But E, being the sentimental sap that he is, opted to take Sloan to the fete. Now, up until this point I really had no problems with Sloan. She was never offensive to me, and I liked her outfits, for the most part. And I thought she made a pretty good match with E — both personally and vertically. But these mixed signals were driving me crazy. Give E the inside scoop on a dream house but insist that he stay at arm’s length. Fish for a premiere ticket, and then insist on going as friends. Cattily comment on the petulant 24-year-old hanger-on (“Who was the child with the bad attitude?”), but then abruptly end the friendship altogether when E declares he wants to be more than just pals. And then she texts him “Sorry”? I’m sorry, but E, you don’t need a friend like this, and good for you for deleting that text. This whole affair had gotten old fast.

Also old: “Knocked Up.” And after all the talk about the out-of-date mentions of “My Name Is Earl” and Jay Leno on ‘The Tonight Show,” here is Turtle yammering nonstop about the boinkability of Seth Rogen in this 2007 relic. Even the hastily thrown-in remarks about watching it on Blu-ray couldn’t save the references (and man, there were so many!) from a distinct air of mustiness. What’s next, a Tone Loc cameo?

On the up side, I enjoyed the buildup and impending dissolution of Ari’s new partner in crime, Andrew Klein. Here’s a guy who seems like a good match for Ari. A guy with whom Ari can envision the future. A guy he can invest in. Our favorite agent even went through the motions of actually having lunch with his wife (known solely as “Mrs. Ari,” btw — will she ever be given a proper name, like Turtle’s Sal?) for the sole purpose of buttering her up so that she could reach out to Andrew’s wife and Ari could have Andrew all to himself. And I knew it was too good to be true when Ari’s wife and Andrew’s wife, Marlo (played by Jami Gertz), hit it off. Turns out Klein couldn’t care less about the wives getting along, because he’s sleeping with the junior literary agent (played by Autumn Reeser from “The O.C.”), thereby ruining any chance of Ari getting the playmate he so desperately wants. “At the end of the day she’s just another young girl who’s trying to make a name for herself, and you’re just another old ... who’s going to have to take a pill to keep up with her,” ranted Ari to Andrew. “It has to end!”

And so does Lloyd’s sad hunger march, in which he glumly proceeded to eat one sad globular grape per hour. It’s day two of the starvation diet, and while Lloyd has proudly shaved 16 ounces from his frame, I love how he milks the sad-sack act for all it’s worth. Not that it works on Ari, who yo-yoed Lloyd’s weight-loss goal depending on his mood – a most-entertaining by-product of the whole Andrew debacle.

My favorite Drama line in this half-hour, like last week, had to do with E’s diminutive state. After E so awkwardly skirted Ashley’s not-so-subtly dropped hints of being invited to the premiere, Vince remarked, “She was begging for a ticket.” To which Drama not-so-subtly crowed: “And a ride on the tiny E express!” Ha!

And while this was another episode that went down easy and breezy like a summer concoction should, is it just me, or do you wish the boys had something else to do other than go to parties and bed girls? I realize it’s still early in the season, but one can only subsist on so many empty calories.

What did you think? Are you invested in the season yet? Are you content to see Sloan out of the picture? What’s up with E’s penchant for young girls? Was three-time Emmy winner Jeremy Piven snubbed this year? Post below!

— Allyssa Lee