‘Dancing With the Stars’ results recap: Out Fox(ed)


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The Republicans gained a lot of seats in the House on election day. And in a ballroom upset, they were able to hold on to one more in the Rectagon on Tuesday night as well. The ‘DWTS’ voters came out in droves to cast their ballots and saved low-scoring Bristol Palin from elimination once again. The teen advocate said she was OK with going home. She wanted to go home. Mark Ballas was OK with he and Bristol going home. They were ready to do the big send-off to Alaska. But the people have spoken, and apparently Bristol’s like the barnacle that can’t be shaken, no matter how little paddle points the judges throw her way. In a late-breaking twist, Bristol and Mark were kept in the ballroom office and deemed safe for another week of competition.

And, ultimately, it was not fellow bottom-dweller Kyle Massey and his ab-tastic Situation, but (gasp) Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke who got the boot during this seventh ‘Dancing With the Stars’ week. And this, after the Jolly Green Giant got his highest scores ever on Monday night. The numbers just don’t add up. Did that Boston Celtic green that Rick wore during his quickstep alienate his loyal Lakers fan base? Maybe the voters wanted to hurry and give Rick back to his girlfriend Eliza Dushku so they can do some more, um, practice ballroom at home. At least Rick could leave the stage with one 10 paddle under his belt. And the ex-Laker took the news like the NBA champ that he is, but still, it wasn’t easy being green (he also didn’t make good on Lakers Coach Phil Jackson’s mandate to beat Kurt Warner). Rick looked a bit shell-shocked by this abrupt departure, like he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to the glitz and glamour (and guyliner).


And neither was I. Because really, sending off a guy who clearly wanted to stay over someone who had plainly said she was ready to go home was a bit difficult to swallow. It’s hard to root for someone who half-heartedly engages in the competition and already had said outright that she wants to call it quits.

But we should move on, I guess. As part of the extra-long election results program, we got a ‘Step in Time’ performance from the cast of ‘Mary Poppins’ as part of the Macy’s Stars of Dance, which was an entertaining show of Cockney-accented chimney sweeps tapping it out on the floor. Those kids were dressed far too warmly for such a balmy Hollywood night, though. And then Mary Poppins took off in the air across the ballroom on her magic umbrella, a grand gesture that fit right into the fantastical ‘DWTS’ universe. It would have fit in more had her umbrella been bedazzled, but the British are more reserved, I guess.

Special Dance Awards were given out through the course of the evening. Marie Osmond beat out the likes of Kelly Monaco’s wardrobe malfunction and Kate Gosselin’s attitude to win the ‘Most Dramatic’ award, which she accepted during her show in Las Vegas and dedicated to partner Jonathan Roberts, for not catching her when she fainted. (Most funny was that she collapsed right as Len was yammering on about ‘the gaiety and the fun of the samba’). ‘DanceCenter’ host Kenny Mayne edged out Master P, Billy Ray Cyrus and Kate Gosselin to accept the two-left-feet award for Best Worst Dancer, just in time to make a plug for the Breeders Cup. Finally, a shorn Louis Van Amstel stepped past Maks, Derek, Mark and Tony to receive the Golden Ponytail award as the male pro dancer with the Biggest Dance Transformation.

Taylor Swift -- she who sold a million albums in a week -- came back to the ‘DWTS’ stage and sang two songs. The first was ‘Speak Now’ from her latest album, accompanied by Chelsie, Dmitry, Lacey and Tony, who played the role of teens having the time of their lives at a country dance. Taylor sounded better for her second song ‘White Horse,’ sung to a montage of heartwarming moments from the series’ history, which cast a gauze of poignancy and meaning on the entire affair. And then got a little odd and awkward after Tom fawned all over the singer, pulled a Marie Osmond and (fake-) fainted, and had Taylor take on his hosting duties.

Rod Stewart also came back to the ‘DWTS’ stage to perform, tempering the ‘Da Ya Think I’m Sexy’ swagger for a dapper suit and a rendition of ‘I Get A Kick Out of You’ from his new album of American songbook classics, accompanied by Damian Whitewood and Peta Murgatroyd on the dance floor.

Although there wasn’t a glittery gavel given out for Best Judgment, we were treated to a small sampling of the judges’ greatest hits. Carrie Ann was shown doing her helicopter dance move and telling a plethora of contestants that they moved her to tears. Len said things like ‘a gypsy around the campfire cooking your sausages’ and ‘it was like watching a stripper,’ and Bruno shook his moneymaker and spouted his share of double entendre bon mots.

Best line of the evening came from juicy cheeseburger and all around joy Niecy Nash, who joined the well-wishes of John O’Hurley, Sarah Palin, John Legend and Buzz Armstrong Aldrin in congratulating ‘Dancing With the Stars’ on its 200th show: ‘Two hundred episodes makes you an old hag, but when you put sequins on anything, it looks good.’

The remaining stars all spoke about coping with stress. Kyle showed some sound-bite wisdom and said competitors dealt with stress while champions conquered it. Rick Fox had some of the most entertaining lines, saying that he’d rather be on the free-throw line at Game 7 of the NBA finals than have to face the rigors of performing on the dance floor.

Though maybe he spoke too soon, because now he doesn’t have to.

What do you think of Tuesday night’s surprise elimination, ballroom fans? Can anything stop Bristol the Pistol? And what do you think of next week’s Instant Dance idea: bedazzlingly brilliant, or would you rather have instant pudding?

-- Allyssa Lee


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