The Situation nearly booed off stage at Comedy Central’s Donald Trump roast
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Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino likes to talk about avoiding grenades, but on Thursday night he dropped a whole lot of ‘em at Comedy Central’s roast in Manhattan, where he joined Snoop Dogg, Whitney Cummings, Larry King and others to skewer Donald Trump.
After being introduced by the night’s host, ‘Family Guy’ creator Seth MacFarlane (who warned the crowd to keep watch on the ‘Jersey Shore’ star ‘in case Donkey Kong throws a barrel at him’), the Situation went up to the microphone, wearing aviator sunglasses, and proceeded to bomb all over the place. His jokes were so bad that one Comedy Central exec suggested that most of his act might be cut from the final broadcast of the roast, which airs March 15.
‘The Sitch,’ as he’s called, deadpanned to Cummings, ‘I actually wouldn’t call you a grenade because you won’t be blowing up anytime soon.’ (Buh-dum-bum!) He told Snoop Dogg that he and Trump had a lot in common because Trump owned a lot of property and Snoop’s ancestors were property. (Snoop did not appear amused.) Before long, the audience began to boo so loudly that comedian Jeffrey Ross, who’s been at this so long he’s known as the Roastmaster General, had to interject into the act to try to save the Situation, who’d already claimed he shared one quality with Ross: ‘This is my first night doing comedy.’
‘It’s also your last,’ Ross responded, to overwhelming applause.
Still, the crowd must have been glad that the Situation showed up, because he provided plenty of amusement for the other roasters. MacFarlane joked that ‘the Sitch’ and Snooki made a good couple because ‘Italians are known for grinding organs with monkeys.’ Snoop pretended to mistake the Situation for Snooki, ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘all white people who act black look the same to me.’ The deaf actress Marlee Matlin, a surprise roaster who’s currently on Trump’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice,’ even got in a swipe at the Great Bronzed One. ‘Like the Situation,’ she said in American Sign Language, ‘I too have never heard the sound of laughter.’
But of course, some of the best lines were reserved for The Donald and that other ‘situation’ -- the one on top of his head. MacFarlane: ‘You look like you fell head-first into a cotton candy machine.’ Cummings: ‘You look like Justin Bieber caught on fire.’ ‘You know who you need to fire? Your hairdresser ... and your face.’ Trump was a good sport through it all, even saying of his famous mop: ‘It’s my trademark, and it’s only bitten me once in my entire life.’ Though he couldn’t resist punctuating that remark by shaking his head with a ‘who writes this stuff?’ expression.
Backstage after the show, he was even more gracious -- or maybe it was just ego. Asked about the Situation’s performance, he said, ‘I thought he was great. He came from a great distance to be here. And he did it just for me.’
As for the Situation, he didn’t seem fazed. ‘Maybe if I hadn’t gone on with the sunglasses, there wouldn’t have been such a negative [vibe],’ he mused, adding that Snoop told him to wear the Aviators so that no one could tell he was looking at the teleprompter. ‘Maybe they thought I was too cool, but that wasn’t the case. I was just wearin’ them ‘cause Snoop said to wear ‘em.’
Calling the jokes ‘a collaboration between me and the writers,’ his dismissed the idea that the crowd was too hard on him. ‘No, not at all,’ he said, still wearing his sunglasses. ‘My whole career people have been hard on me, so, y'know. I stood in the pocket where a lot of people would crumble, a lot of people would walk off stage, but I stood in there. I delivered.’
-- Melissa Maerz