‘America’s Got Talent’ recap: Back to Seattle (again)

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‘America’s Got Talent’ returned to Seattle on Tuesday night’s show, which is a little strange not just because the producers had already taken us there this season, but also because, when they did, the results were not so great. (Remember the polyester-clad Ricky Martin-look alike and the woman who did an impression of Kathy Griffin doing an impression of Christina Aguilera? Yes, that’s what counted as Seattle’s best last time around.)

Had the producers hoarded the infamously overcast city’s true talents for this show, its second go?

Sorry, optimists. Despite judge Sharon Osbourne’s expression of admiration for Seattle-born stars (she didn’t cite any by name) and overall coolness, the city’s talent glass was more than half-empty … again.

Its stage was full, though: We got a guy who blew up a hot water bottle like a balloon in hopes that it would burst (it did not); a dog who scrambled around on a billiard table, sinking balls with its paws; a guy named Alaska who contributed what might have been the night’s best line -- ‘Look out, Las Vegas. Here comes Alaska!’ – and what was undoubtedly its worst dance; a lady who writes songs for dead people, but made an exception for Piers Morgan, who loved her act. (Now we know what it takes to get an enthusiastic yes from designated wet blanket Morgan: sucking up … or a billiard-playing pooch.)


While we saw those cringe-worthy acts -- as well as mediocre ones like BGP, a band of young dads who played a too-slow, too-unoriginal ‘Bennie and the Jets’ -- in what appeared to be their entirety, the producers showed us only the merest glimpses of acts the judges embraced: an ‘elegant’ pole dancer, a ‘genius’ Britney Spears-singing men’s chorus, an ‘amazing’ magic act.

For our full hour’s investment, we received in return only two full acts arguably worth our time:

1) A moderately funny, apparently professional comedian stage-named Geechy Guy, who speedily spat out one-liners and sweated through his suit. (According to his online bio, Geechy Guy won a TV talent show decades ago, beating out Ray Romano on ‘Star Search,’ has repeatedly appeared on TV shows including ‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno’ and ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live,’ and has had a long-running Las Vegas comedy show. I still don’t understand the mix of professional and amateur acts on this show.)

And 2) a genuinely talented trio of tikes, ages 8 to 10, calling themselves the Art of Teknique, who break-danced -- impressively -- to Joe Budden’s ‘Pump it Up.’

Maybe we should just hand those kids the win and the million bucks and call it a season? What do you think -- do you plan to keep watching?

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-- Amy Reiter