‘Dancing With the Stars’ results recap: Disappearing act
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Well, that seemed more like a trick than a treat, didn’t it? An unwelcome Halloween surprise leftover. Turned out the contestant with the lowest total of judges’ and viewer votes on this seventh week of “Dancing With the Stars” was not Hope Solo or Nancy Grace, as popularly thought.
Rather, it was David Arquette and his pro partner, Kym Johnson. And the shock of the studio audience upon hearing their names called was palpable to viewers watching at home. We all knew he wasn’t going to win the Mirrorball trophy, but couldn’t his extreme likability and much-improved cha cha have bought him another week or two at least?
In a word: Booooo.
But the actor and producer took it like the good guy that he is, smiling the entire time. “There must be a mistake because this is my show — I can’t go home,” David said good-naturedly. “I came here to get to know more about myself, face my fears, entertain people, get America to know me better.”
It’s too bad his adorable daughter Coco wasn’t in the audience to see him off. Then again, how many people thought this was his week to go? It was shocking enough to see Hope and Maks were deemed safe after their Halloween horror show the night before. Even when David giggled like a schoolgirl and cried, “It’s curtains!” when Tom and Brooke put him in bottom two jeopardy, I was not convinced that this was their time to exit. I was sure Nancy and Tristan MacManus would be cut loose because, well, you can’t just jive with the “Devil Went Down to Georgia,” receive a lowly 21 score and get away with it. But get away they did, which left fellow Team Tango players David and Kym on the short end of the ol’ scoreboard stick. Still, there were no hard feelings. David called “DWTS” “an experience of a lifetime.... You learn things about yourself you never thought.” Aw, Davy. We’ll miss you and your unflagging spirit.
Maybe he doesn’t really need to go away. I mean, Carson Kressley hasn’t. He won’t go home; actually, he doesn’t have a plane ticket. But that’s OK because he makes every segment he’s in just that much more bright and sparkly. Carson gamely took on the role of man on the street and interviewed studio audience attendees (including Jason Biggs, Bruce Jenner and David Arquette’s daughter Coco) about their favorites with a natural aplomb. Give this guy a permanent job on the show! “Back to you, Tom and … and Brooke.” Exactly.
Justin Beieber got things off to a fevered start with a high-octane performance version of “Never Say Never” with lots of acrobatics, pyrotechnics and capoeira-type tumbling. Justin himself was dancing with his crew with his headset mic and a permasnarl to show he meant business. And then he came back to show that it’s never too early to think about Christmas by singing “Fa La La” and harmonizing with Boyz II Men while Mark Ballas and Chelsie Hightower hip-hopped around them like teens in love. Afterward, the Canadian pop superstar even cracked a smile, sending the “DWTS” booming teen girl demographic into a tizzy.
Len deemed the encore performance not just an individual effort, but a group one, courtesy of Team Paso Doble. And we had a redux of Halloween and Sleepy Hollow during their Evanescence performance. Their cape work was still impressive. And brave to Team Tango for applauding for them in their straitjackets.
There was a special segment with pro Derek Hough choreographing a performance set to acoustic guitars. And while you knew Derek was a great choreographer, but he’s also great at choosing partners: For this, he teamed up with Alison Holker of “So You Think You Can Dance” fame. Now, Alison was always one of my favorite contemporary dancers on “SYTYCD,” but who knew she could burn the floor with the flamenco and tango as well? This Latin-infused hybrid oozed with ferocity and sensuality and superior skills, and left Len and Bruno pounding on the judges’ table in resounding appreciation.
Heartstrings were tugged in the AT&T Spotlight, a.k.a. the feel-good segment. This week’s focused on Victoria-Rose Viren, a teen from Anaheim whose brain tumor diagnosis didn’t stop her from her ballet dreams. Two months after the surgery to remove the tumor, she was on stage performing in “The Nutcracker.” And, on Tuesday night, she was in white tulle opposite Kyle Robinson dancing beautifully to Christina Perri’s live version of her latest hit, “Arms.” What a lovely, positive affirmation of life.
Favorite ass reference of the night: When cameras caught Bruno and Cheryl talking about Rob’s rotund rear end. “Have you seen his ass?” Cheryl asked. “Yeah, it’s huge,” Bruno agreed. Also enjoyed how Rob shed light on his affliction with the massive junk in his trunk. “It’s tough dancing here with such a big butt,” the non-jean-wearer revealed. What a bummer.
Favorite half-ass reference of the night: “We got dark horses, we got mules. Welcome to ‘Dancing With the Livestock.’ ” —Tom Bergeron
And with that, ballroom fans, we come to … the end.
What did you think? Were you as surprised as I was to see David leave the competition? Should he and/or Carson Kressley come back as a regular feature from here on out?
-- Allyssa Lee