Lawrence Taylor needs to just dance away

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

Yes, I know ‘Dancing With the Stars’ (‘DWTS’) is mostly entertainment, but it is also a competition. I mean, there are judges and scoring and stuff. Professional dancers are encouraged to practice six hours a day.

So, first of all, why does ‘DWTS’ have to have an NFL star if the only one they could come up with was Lawrence Taylor? He barely walks through dances. He practices about as hard as I did when forced to take piano lessons from Mrs. Schueneman, who was at least 90, had her piano in a five-story walk-up and who would rap my knuckles if I couldn’t play the scales to the tick-tock of the metronome that was on top of her at least 91-year-old piano. In other words, not very hard in hopes my parents would get the message that I hated it.

‘DWTS’ brought in last year’s ‘DWTS’ NFL star, Warren Sapp, who did try hard, who made everyone laugh and who made it into the final three on both his talent and improvement, to try and perk up Taylor. It didn’t work. So, people, I hope you voted out Taylor. He’d rather be taking piano lessons, I think.

Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson, on the other hand, is taking this so seriously. And guess what? She’s improving. That’s what the show is about. Seeing ‘stars’ come out of their comfort zone. I’d love to see her win, which probably isn’t going to happen since hunky Gilles is both hunky and can dance plus he’s hunky.

Again, let me say, if there is justice, Taylor is gone on tonight’s results show. Keep rodeo Ty Murray dancing on too. He’s really not good, but he wants to be. He tries to be. If he could ride a horse to the waltz or the jive or the pasodoble, he’d kick butt. In fact, maybe that should be one week’s competition. Give the pros a rest. Make all the stars ride a horse.

-- Diane Pucin