Live from Twitter: Black Friday shoppers tweet about parking spot woes
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Human civilization is still caught in the increasingly old-fashioned and inefficient physical world, where trucks belch burning fossil effluvia while trekking endless miles to deliver paper mail, you’re sometimes hosed if you lose a dry-cleaning receipt and people die. What a bummer analog is!
Chief among those bummers of physical reality is finding a parking spot at the mall on Black Friday, where industrial-strength mass discounting and the resultant nationwide spending stampede.
But thanks to the Twitterverse, where we can tune into the endless stream of digital consciousness, we know we’re not alone in aisle-circling tedium, where the space we are looking for may never materialize.
Tweeters are feeling and sharing the pain at a high rate today, spreading stories of crazed drivers and hair-pullingly long waits to find spots. Here are a few tweets just from within the last hour.
‘Just witnessed two cars fighting over a parking spot. Too sick,’ said vivalajen.
‘A lady came within inches of hitting me, b/c she didn’t want to lose the last parking spot at Starbucks!’ exclaimed siomo.
‘Got flipped off by the pillsbury dough man after he tried to cut me off into the parking spot I casually pulled into,’ bragged DeusExBestia.
‘ppl are goin crazy 4 these bargains! at the mall some1 tried taking my parking spot. almost had to monster truck that [guy] with the [Tahoe],’ said Brockton_Thomas.
‘People are following me to get my parking spot little do they no i have no idea where I parked haha,’ said MrDawson_98.’
While others reported their successes with capitalistic glee:
‘Found a mall parking spot in under 5 minutes today & successfully getting my Friday Chipotle fix!!’ said Marc_Ess.
‘Yayyy just pulled in the parking lot and got a front row spot! Love the holidays!’ reported AnthonyCalise.
‘Phew got a close parking spot at the mall. Booya suckers!’
That’s the spirit, shoppers!
-- David Sarno