Opinion: When private indiscretions go public
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Once, it would have been only the stuff whispered over backyard fences. But now it’s got everything that makes a modern media story hot--sex, celebrity, secrets, even hypocrisy.
Marital infidelity exposed. Louisiana Sen. David Vitter is the latest target, but he’s not the first nor the last, thanks in part to the ongoing ‘investigations’ of Hustler publisher Larry Flynt into the private lives of members of Congress.
Vitter’s phone number showed up in the black book of D.C. madam Deborah Palfrey and he acknowledged committing ‘a very serious sin.’ It was particularly embarrassing for a politician who’s made family values a fundamental tenet of his public personna. Politico.com’s Helena Andrews has an interesting examination and online chat today about Wendy Vitter’s public appearance with her husband this week in suburban New Orleans to stand by her man.
‘You know, in most any other marriage,’ Mrs. Vitter said, tightlipped, stonefaced, dry-eyed, ‘this would have been a private issue between a husband and a wife, very private. Obviously it is not here.’ She later admitted her marriage was ‘not perfect’ but that she had made a firm decision to recommit to their union and forgive.
Andrews talks to experts in these matters (can you believe there are such folks?). ‘The people in political marriages,’ says Eric Dezenhall, a crisis management specialist and author of ‘Damage Control.’ ‘They know what they were getting into and they see it as being in their best interest to keep the enterprise going rather than shatter it.’
The temptations in public life are very real and....
alluring, so strong is the attraction of celebritydom and power to some. It’s not just rock singers who attract groupies who make themselves available. Professional sports leagues--and today even some amateur organizations--offer pre-season tutorials on avoiding awkward situations and temptations, especially on the road.
It is standard practice in the office of many public officials to always have a staffer present as a witness whenever the official meets with individuals to prevent any allegations of improper behavior later.
Infidelities by public figures didn’t start in modern times; they were overlooked before. But the modern list is long: Gary Hart and Donna Rice. Bob Livingston. Gary Condit, Kobe Bryant, Antonio Villaraigosa, Jesse Jackson, Newt Gingrich, James McGreevey. There were charges of unsolicited gropings against Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bill Clinton.
Andrews quotes Barry McCarthy, a Washington psychologist and sex therapist, as saying ‘In general, the majority of marriages survive affairs.’ In fact, in a strange way the survival of the Clinton marriage may actually be one of the political obstacles that Hillary Clinton needs to overcome if she wants to broaden her support and reduce her negatives in this relentless drive for the presidency.
Many see her stoicism and standing by her man, despite the other numerous allegations and public humiliation of Monica Lewinsky, not as an honest private forgiveness but as just another example of the cold calculating personna they see and dislike in her. And the couple’s recent joint campaign appearances with their hugs and lengthy hand-holdings only become daily reminders of the enduring suspicions.
--Andrew Malcolm