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Opinion: Huckabee needs to hustle up some dough quick

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Quick, can you please just send Mike Huckabee $300,000 by tomorrow midnight?

It seems that he’s desperately trying to win Saturday’s South Carolina Republican primary, and he and his campaign manager, Chip Saltsman, were just riding on the campaign bus a little while ago, going over the plans for the final push and they realized, doggone it, that they actually needed $300Gs right away to pay for voter ID and turnout phone calls.

So, how about it?

It only took them a few minutes to gin up this urgent fundraising appeal and blast it out to about 36,000 unsuspecting e-mail readers, another of the wondrous blessings of the Internet. Mike said, ‘I firmly believe, this may be the difference between victory and defeat for our effort in South Carolina Saturday. We must raise $300,000 immediately.’ And to emphasize how important this is, he underlined the sentences like this. In political appeals, as you no doubt have learned by now, underlining means ‘very important.’

Mike said if everybody getting the e-mail -- oh, wait, we don’t need the underlining anymore -- sent in only $25 each, they’d actually get more than $900,000. Of course, if everybody getting the e-mail sent in $300,000, they could buy South Carolina.

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So, in truth, doing the math here, the Huckabee campaign could have actually asked for only about $8.35 from each person getting the e-mail and still gotten its $300,000. But that’s not important now.

-- Andrew Malcolm


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