Opinion: Cops shoot bad monkey cartoonist or something crazy


This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

OK, here’s the setup:

A Connecticut woman lived with a 200-pound chimpanzee. Slept with him. Ate with him. Drank wine with him. No, really. (But he’d only use the long-stemmed glasses; wouldn’t use the plastic ones). Obviously refined chimp. Lonely person.

Chimps, like humans, can be violent. Strong too. Chimp attacks owner’s human friend. Badly injures her. Was he jealous? Angry? Intoxicated? Owner also gets excited. Calls 911 over pet. Stabs primary primate partner with carving knife. Police arrive. Guns. Chimp dead.


New York Post publishes Sean Delonas’ cartoon: Two cops. Smoking gun. Riddled chimp. One cop: ‘They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.’

Many miss hilarity. Who actually wrote that legislation anyway? Everyone descended from monkeys, right? Al Sharpton somehow finds TV studio. Not laughing. Says clearly a racist cartoon; reminds new generation of old stereotype for blacks. Others agree. Denounce. Demand apology.

Post says ridiculous. Mocks current news. Just another Sharpton publicity stunt.

Could be bid for lots of online hits. Could be awkward joke over poorly written legislation; put 10,000 monkeys at 10,000 typewriters, etc. Actually, recent political charge was President Obama didn’t write the stimulus; mistakenly left it to wild liberals such as Nancy Pelosi in House Jungle. Also Steny Hoyer.

Who’s got the banana?

What do you think? See the news video on the jump below.

-- Andrew Malcolm

Click here to register for Twitter alerts on each new Ticket item. RSS feeds are available over here. And we’re now on Kindle as well.