Getting to the bottom of The Times all-star team means going low

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If my words seem a little slurred and drawn out, it’s because I spent half my day on the campaign trail, trying to spread my thoughts and views, but mostly trying to quash others, in regards to our upcoming all-star football team.

Things would have gone much smoother if:

A. Servite all-purpose player D.J. Shoemate would’ve played the same offensive position all season.

B: Crespi tight end/defensive lineman Joseph Fauria would’ve stuck to basketball, just like every other 6-foot-8 high school kid.

-- Images of Ryan Bass (above, left) and Chris Polk (above, right) by Irfan Khan and Glenn Koenig

C: Corona Centennial running back Ryan Bass and Redlands East Valley running back Chris Polk didn’t have so many common opponents.

D. Redlands East Valley would have played Centennial in the Inland Division final.

E: At least one of my colleagues watched Colton defensive end Damien Holmes play this season.

F: St. Bonny offensive lineman Vaughn Dotsy played vs. Oregon State-bound defensive lineman Dominic Galas of Modesto Central Catholic in state Division III bowl game, instead of sitting out with a bad back.

G: Mission Viejo didn’t have such a down year.

H: There weren’t so many talented defensive linemen.

I: One of the best defensive linemen didn’t happen to have an identical twin.

J: Middle-aged men weren’t so stubborn.

K: Twenty-somethings weren’t such independent thinkers.

- Dan Arritt