What do you say to an umpire who’s out to get you?

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I was amused by this blast by Carlos Arias, a writer at the Orange County Register.

He finally put to words what a lot of us have known -- the umpires are out to get your team. Hey, it’s not paranoia if it’s true, right?

Baseball, softball, basketball and football -- from San Luis Obispo to San Clemente to San Bernardino (and beyond), it’s all relevant.

It’s funny, too.

Now, don’t think that referees or umpires are completely impartial. They are not. They are influenced by the situation, by the knowledge of who’s supposed to win, by making up for bad calls, by making a point to an argumentative coach, by this and by that.

But really, few -- if any -- actually show up to an event with an agenda.

For the sake of laughs, what are your best heckles for a game official? I know they appeciate the clever ones -- though they might get you tossed.

-- Martin Henderson

-- Image from www.imdb.com