Following Up After Christmas Party
Question: Last December I met a really cute guy at our office Christmas party. Our company has several branches, and he works at an office about an hour away. We seemed to hit it off really well and even talked about getting together after the holidays. I’ve thought about him a lot since then and am convinced that there was something special between us. But it’s been several weeks and I haven’t heard from him yet. Do you think I should call him at work and invite him to dinner? I’m afraid I may have scared him off by telling him that I have a 5-year-old son, but I hate to just let the guy slip away without giving it a try.
Answer: There’s no harm in checking it out as long as you are prepared to accept that he may not be free or interested. The length of time that has passed without a call would seem to indicate that he has been much more on your mind than vice versa.
Q: My girlfriend got pregnant while we were both in school. She quit, and we got married. Our daughter, Sherry, was born, and I stayed because my wife seemed overwhelmed and because I loved that baby more than I ever thought possible. Within a year my wife was pregnant again. I realized then that I’d stayed too long, that I should have left after Sherry was born. I don’t love my wife; I never did. I only tried to do what was right. I’m leaving, but I don’t know if it would be better to go before or after the new baby’s arrival.
A: You need advice about more than when is the best time to leave. The responsibilities you accepted with marriage and fatherhood are very real. Soon you will bring into the world another baby who will need, and deserve, a caring father. Walking away from your wife and child, especially before the new baby’s arrival, would be cruel. Your wife needs your help and support --financial and moral. Grow up and try to work out your marital relationship with the help of a counselor.
Q: I am divorced and remarried with children by both marriages. The difference in the two families is amazing. My first husband was very strict, demanding respect, neatness and order at all times. He was a good but undemonstrative father. My current husband is fun-loving, touchy and very open. The children are blossoming. Our conversations are wonderfully diverse, with everyone participating, but our house is less than neat and never quite ready for company. I wonder why I never saw how out of line my priorities were before.
A: How fortunate you are. Thanks for sharing.